Facing Fear after God Speaks

In the last post I began telling you about how God began telling me that He wanted our family to move back to "the land of your father."  This was just the beginning of what turned out to be a pivotal week spent with the Lord where He spoke so clearly, so distinctly, and so sweetly into my life.  I will continue sharing the details of that call here so that you may recognize Him speaking directly to you about something.

Where we last left off God had very clearly told me to go back to Texas, the land of my ancestors.  I was very excited to hear from the Lord like this, but over time my initial enthusiasm began giving way to anxiety and even fear.  I woke up the next morning feeling like I needed to fast and pray that day, even though it would be a full workday.  That I did, although I was very distracted that day and am certain that our staff could tell.  It was hard to focus on anything work-related.  My anxiety was turning to fear of many things at once:  fear that I was actually hearing God, fear of the unknown, fear of abandoning everything and starting over yet again, fear of not knowing what the new ministry would be like, fear of letting our current church down, fear of letting our new church down, and fear of letting my school and the Northwest down. I had to go to the Lord again and again about that all day long.

At the end of my workday I went home and sensed that I needed to be alone with the Lord.  The weather was decent so I decided to walk through our neighborhood to one of my favorite spots that overlooks Puget Sound and the harbor.  As I walked there I prayed to the Lord about all of the anxiety and fear I was experiencing.  I told Him I was scared about many things and didn't know which way to go.  I didn't know what to do with it other than take those things to God directly, which scripture tells me is the way to go.  As I walked, the Lord suddenly brought James 1:5-8 to mind.

⁵ If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. ⁶ But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.

One of my favorite places to sit and pray near our house.  This spot is a real blessing!

The Lord in His goodness told me what to do right then.  He was telling me through this passage that I needed to ask Him directly about this call to confirm it, and to bring my fears to him.  I believe in that moment He was emphasizing that I should not run to people to get their thoughts, as I tend to do.  He was telling me to come directly to Him and that if I did that, He would not rebuke me for asking and that He would tell me what to do.  But it was also clear to me that I needed to be alone with God so I could hear what He was saying.  I needed to get away from all of the people around me to hear His still, small voice in my life.  I needed to put away my phone and resist the tendency to call friends in ministry to see what they thought. 

Frankly, it is a lot easier to run to people around me to see what they think than to go to the Lord about a situation.  People are right there, sometimes in person and sometimes a phone call or text away.  And while I believe people can speak into your life a message from the Lord, they also are subject to their own motivations and motives, passions, feelings, and opinions.  And many times those things are not from the Lord and can simply create confusion as you listen to them.  Talking to many people to get their opinions only compounds the matter further, making us a "wave tossed on the sea."

I continued to ponder things in that moment by the bay.  The Lord reminded me that my journey in life has many similarities to that of Abraham.  Abraham was asked to move "to the land I will show you," and Abraham did.  He was asked to sacrifice his son on a mountaintop and made preparations to do so, only to have God stay his hand at the very last second before he carried it out.  It made me wonder if God might be asking me to move back to Texas to see if I'd do it, only to stop me at the last second.  Of all of my uncertainties that still existed in that moment, I was sure God would tell me what to do.

I went home that evening and talked with Amanda about things.  We both felt strongly that we needed to be in prayer about this for the remainder of the week.  God was clear on that.  So we made an agreement not to talk to each other about this for an entire week.  Instead, we would both listen and pray independently and would compare notes at a later date.  But the interesting thing out of this is that both Amanda and I felt strongly that the Lord wanted to tell me directly what He wanted us to do.  And we both had decided that we would do what He told us to do.

Meanwhile I was still stuck in the middle of the week with the knowledge that I needed to keep listening as I could, even while going back and forth between work and home that week.  The next day I woke up and read Romans 4 about "the faith of Abraham."  I cringed a bit because I remembered the previous evening where the Lord reminded me of the parallels between his life and my own.  Then I flipped back to Genesis 32 and read this:

⁹ Then Jacob prayed, “O God of my grandfather Abraham, and God of my father, Isaac—O Lord, you told me, ‘Return to your own land and to your relatives.’ And you promised me, ‘I will treat you kindly.’ ¹⁰ I am not worthy of all the unfailing love and faithfulness you have shown to me, your servant. When I left home and crossed the Jordan River, I owned nothing except a walking stick. Now my household fills two large camps!

This described us.  We moved to the Pacific Northwest thinking we were going to be giving up nearly everything, and instead God blessed our family richly during our entire time in this place.  This simple reminder in that moment was a reminder that God has been with us the entire time we have lived away from our homeland.  He has never left us alone here, and this provided me more reassurance that what He was calling me to do would be the same.  He would not leave us.  In fact, He would go with us!

How to hear God in circumstances like this

You may be wondering about the actual mechanism that helped me to hear God's voice in this moment.  I'm sharing our story because I believe you will see these same patterns in your own life.  But the Bible also gives us some insight on listening to the Lord.

A theme in the Bible and a theme of this story is that God tells people what to do, the person responds by thinking about it, praying, and taking action.  Then the person becomes fearful of what happens next because God almost always only revealed the next steps and not the entire picture.  Then, the person would pray about those fears and as they are brought to the Lord He deals with them one by one, sometimes simply bringing peace, other times providing a way out.  At times the way out made sense and at other times it did not.  Judges 6 chronicles the story of Gideon, and his life follows this pattern.  Gideon is threshing wheat in a wine press to hide out from his enemies, a cowardly act.  An angel appears and tells him that Israel will be rescued through Gideon.  Gideon asks for several signs to confirm that this will happen, and the Lord responds with some amazing circumstances to confirm what He has said.  Gideon then obeys the Lord, but falls into a pattern of fear and questioning each step of the way.  The Lord always answered at that time and told him what to do next. 

What should you do when you face similar circumstances?  If you are following Jesus I do believe He will intercept you at particular points in your life and ask you to do something different, something crazy, something that others may see and scoff at.  So how do you listen for His voice in those moments?  How do you recognize it?

• Daily reading of Scripture- Open the Bible each day prayerfully asking God to speak directly to you.  What you read in that moment is what He is saying to you!  This does not involve randomly opening some place in Scripture and reading that.  Instead, find some Bible reading plan that works for you.  Perhaps it is one chapter in the Old Testament and one chapter in the New Testament each day.  Perhaps it is reading in 3 or 4 places each day, or maybe just one.  There is no magic formula;  just read!  If you really want a plan on paper that you can follow, here are some ones you could try.  The point isn't necessarily that you look in particular places in the Bible.  Instead the point is that you should be regularly reading it and applying what it says to your life!  
• Prayerful reading of scripture- Once you read, pray on what you read, asking the Lord to reveal to you what He is saying in that moment to you.  If you haven't done so, consider starting a journal about your thoughts on your daily reading.  For me this has helped me to process what I think God is saying.  Journaling helps you to slow down a bit and listen more.
• Prayers while alone with God, followed by silence- This is crucial step for you and me.  It is unfortunate that prayer in church often models that we should talk endlessly at God in great and flowery detail by using "churchy" sounding words.  I have come to understand that prayer should involve me talking to God followed by moments of silence, listening to God.  It has been my experience that in those moments of silence, a thought will pop into my head, seemingly from nowhere.  Often these are scriptures I have read, which I will then open to and meditate on.  This is God speaking to you!  But you will never hear it if you talk at him endlessly.

Spend time today examining your prayer life, remembering that prayer is our time of communicating directly with God.  Prayers need no intermediary, have no filter, and impose no wall between you and the Lord.  This is about you and God only. 

If you find that your prayers have fallen into a pattern of talking at God rather than with God, go be alone with him today for a time.  If you need to, leave your phone somewhere else so you won't be distracted.  Leave your house so you can be away from people.  Go for a walk, or just go sit in a nice spot away from others.  Pray to Him, telling him what is on your mind, asking for guidance on whatever situation is bothering you now.  Then, when you feel the time is right, stop talking.  It is okay to look around if you need to, although you may find that to be distracting.  If it is, keep your eyes closed and wait, simply asking the Lord to speak and focusing yourself on Him.  Pay attention to a thought that pops up from something you have read in the Bible and see what He might say in those moments.  You may be surprised!  Remember too that God will not tell you to do something that contradicts something in the Bible.

I am praying for you as you walk with Jesus, that your walk would be closer, sweeter, more real, and more vibrant than anything you have ever experienced to date.  Remember, the Lord considers you to be very special and desires this kind of relationship with you, no matter who you are.