More Provision

On the day of my flight out of Seattle, I woke up to snow!  Fortunately in Seattle they know what to do with snow and I was able to fly out to go home on time.  Apparently Everett gets some snow each year.  Our boys will love it!

"Home is now behind you, the world is ahead."  - The Hobbit

Tuesday was our final day in Huffman.  We spent our last two days doing the most difficult part of packing.  During this time, you seem to go into rooms to find that your stuff has multiplied.  You swear the room was clear a few minutes ago but are dismayed to find that you still have at least 2 boxes worth of things.  We got to the point where we began giving stuff away.  It either wouldn't fit in our storage boxes or wasn't worth the space in the storage box.

Isn't it funny that we can spend so much time accumulating things and spending huge amounts of money on them only to discover that they are either sold off for nothing or that we can't keep them?  I first experienced this after my mother in law passed away in 2004.  We had the challenge of selling her worldly possessions off to clear the house out, and in the end we didn't make very much off of it!  We spend years accumulating and purchasing all to have it passed to somebody else in the end.

Ecclesiastes 6:1-2

 There is another serious tragedy I have seen under the sun, and it weighs heavily on humanity. God gives some people great wealth and honor and everything they could ever want, but then he doesn’t give them the chance to enjoy these things. They die, and someone else, even a stranger, ends up enjoying their wealth! This is meaningless—a sickening tragedy.

The most difficult part of Tuesday was in saying goodbye.  We were fortunate to stay with our neighbors Dave and Barbara on our last night there.  They are among the best people we know, and have been like grandparents to us.  Saying goodbye to people such as this is a very difficult thing.

We also said goodbye to my Dad and his wife Debra after eating lunch with them.  Leaving family is always difficult, but even more so when it is your Dad.  There are so many things that I wanted to say, but in times like these I just can't find the right words.

More Provision

The Lord continues to provide for us on every step of this journey.  Since my last post we nearly gave up on the house that we were attempting to rent.  During our back and fourth with the owners regarding renting the house, they added some provisions to the contract that upon first glance seemed very strict and unreasonable.   I remember seeing them and getting very angry.  I had one of those nights where I couldn't go to sleep and decided that I had to pray.  I was so overcome with emotion that I didn't know what to pray, but I attempted to voice my frustration to God.  As it turned out, the next day I discovered that it was me who had misunderstood and misinterpreted what was written in the contract.  Sadly, in my heart I know I was upset with God the night before for appearing to lead us down another dead end.  But as usual the goodness of the Lord far exceeds anything I can understand, and in His grace he appears to have provided this house for us at the very second that we needed it.  We plan on moving in on either January 1st or 2nd.

That seems to be a pattern for how He works in the life of this family.  We receive his provision at the very second we need it, never before, and never in a way that we expected to receive it.  The Lord is good.

In addition to a house, the Lord has provided financial resources for this move to be able to happen.  When we decided to move to Everett in late October we literally had no idea where the money would come from.  While we do save money in the bank, we don't typically put huge amounts away unless we are planning ahead for something big.  This change happened so quickly that we couldn't plan ahead.

 Here are the things that we didn't have money for.  I don't list them for any other purpose other than showing the world how the Lord has provided for our family in a very specific ways.

- Fuel to drive to Everett in my truck.

- Money for a trailer to take a first load of important items to Everett.

- Hotel money for each night of my drive to Everett.

- Hotel stay in Everett for 2 solid weeks.

- Cost of the move from Huffman to Everett (enormous).

- Fuel cost to drive our other car to Everett.

- Hotel money for the family as we drive to Everett.

- Initial deposit and 2 months rent on a house.

Look at that list above.  While I didn't add costs to any of them, I can tell you that they are extensive and were out of our reach.  Now for the surprise:  the Lord provided in whole or in part for each of these.  We haven't asked for anything from anyone (other than a persistent person at our church, whom I thank), but many have stepped forward, usually stating that they "felt they needed to give" something to us.  We have also found money from totally unexpected places and venues.  Each time it was just in time and was not planned by us.  That's how the Father provides.

The Lord has reminded me so many times of this verse, which can so easily be taken out of context.

Matthew 6:31-34

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear? ’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Many churchgoers take this out of context by thinking that they can superficially put the things of God as first in their lives, then on the back-end they will receive all of the things they want.  Our consumer culture in America has created this perversion.  But look at the verses again.  Notice that it says "he will give you everything you need."  Needs are simple and basic.  Food, water, clothing, shelter.  You will notice that the Father has provided all of those things and more for this family.

This morning we will jump into the car and go back to Borger to see my Grandpa.  From there, since the weather forecast looks good, we should be able to go on to Grand Junction, Colorado, then to Boise, Idaho.  Our last stop will be in Everett on Monday night.

Some Ending Thoughts and a Visit

I nearly started this post by stating that not a lot has happened in the last few days.  Really, that isn't true.

I continue to be led to walk around this community and pray, both for the people and for the community.  I really don't pray enough at all, but walking and praying has become an interesting endeavor.  You will see people as you pass them, some homeless, others in a bad state, some simply having a bad day.  Stopping to pray for them at that moment does help.  While I don't do it enough, it does help me to have open eyes and see what is going on around me.

On Tuesday I felt the Spirit telling me to spend some more time in a park nearby the jail that I posted about earlier in the week.  I spent about 30 minutes just praying and observing people as they passed by.  The thing that I keep coming back to is this:  what would happen if the whole world ended now and these individuals I'm looking at died without Christ?  What would happen to them?  As I thought about this I turned to my right and saw the prison.  This, of course, is the answer.  While they wouldn't be in a prison made of bricks and steel, they would be in prison.  And they would never get out.  The thought broke my heart and made me very sad.  While I don't believe it would be effective for me to stand on a street corner with a megaphone yelling at everyone about the Lord, it does give me pause and make me realize that EVERY interaction I have with people counts.  Every minute of every day counts, and it isn't about me.  I'm still adjusting to that kind of mindset.

So as I sat on this parkbench, I really felt the Spirit's presence.  I believe He is using times like these to prepare me and to change me.  You can learn so much in a city by just sitting and watching, but that in combination with the Spirit makes for some of the best time you will spend with God.  While I couldn't point to anything specific that He said during that time, I know He was there.  It can only be compared to spending time with a best friend.  Years later you may not be able to state exactly what was talked about in that moment, but you knew that time was important.

This week has been a confusing muddle of attempts at getting housing for our family.  We have prayed that the Lord would provide a way for us to get a house in the very neighborhood that has been on our hearts.  One by one, each and every opportunity was closed in a certain way.  The duplex that was next to the "God will Provide" sign?  Won't allow pets.  The second unit that was larger and only 2 blocks away?  A person walked in literally 10 minutes before I turned in my application and rented it.  Ten minutes.  In the past I would have gotten angry, but I see things like this now as God's movement.  I can honestly admit to my frustration at the end of that day, but I was more frustrated with the situation than anything.  I did have a sense that God was up to something and was ready for Him to act!

Our next effort came in the form of making a last-ditch effort to rent the house that we eventually wanted to buy.  The owners rejected the idea stating that they had several showings in the last week and wanted to find out what would happen.  In their shoes, I don't blame them and would probably do the same thing.

So in an effort to "save our family," I went back to an apartment that I'd found outside of town and turned in an application.  I figured that we just needed a place to stay for the short-term, so why not?  After doing that, Amanda made a suggestion over the phone that occurred to me about a week ago but that I hadn't acted on.  She asked why we didn't just ask to rent the house that was our second choice for purchase.  Good point.  Let's look into that.  After contacting our real estate agent and having him contact the sellers, we found out that their real estate agent was completely for the idea since the house had been on the market for a while.  We soon got word that the sellers were officially interested, so today I have spent the day going back and fourth with our agent on the details of the contract.  We are structuring it so we have the option to buy in place, so when our house in Huffman sells, we will officially have a house of our own in Everett!  We are just waiting on the sellers to sign the papers.  Lord willing, that will happen.

So what is God up to?  I don't really know.  What I have come to realize is that I was a bit too stuck on our "first choice" house and wasn't concerned enough about where we are SUPPOSED to live.  Had you asked me a few days ago I could tell you a whole list of reasons of why House #1 was perfect and House #2 was not.  However a funny thing happens when doors close over and over again, doors that are shut by the Lord.  Your priorities suddenly change.  Suddenly you don't care as much about where you live or what size house it is.  You just want your family to have a place to call home.  Living in hotel rooms for 3 weeks will do that to you as well.  You learn to live on less.  I don't have all of my books or furniture or power tools.  Funny thing is...it really doesn't matter anymore.  I don't miss it.  Is it possible that God was putting us through this to lead us to this conclusion?  Of course it is!  Our job is to be more concerned about the things of His kingdom than the things of this world.  What better way to do that than to remove all of the things that brought you comfort in your prior life?

In the Parable of the Seeds from Luke 8, Jesus illustrated how it is for people who try to connect with him by talking about a farmer scattering seeds.  In the past, I represented the "other seed that grew up among thorns that grew up with it and choked out the tender plants."  Jesus explained it this way: 

Luke 8:14

The seeds that fell among the thorns represent those who hear the message, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares and riches and pleasures of this life. And so they never grow into maturity.

Don't think that I've been coerced into this mindset or that I'm sad about the situation I'm in.  Truly I'm not.  In fact, I think I'm happier than I have been in a long time.  Where does that come from?  The Holy Spirit.  

Galatians 5:22-25

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives:love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self- control. There is no law against these things!

 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.

The greatest part of this is that this is freely available to everyone who believe!  This applies to people who have never known Jesus (provided they turn to Him) and to those who have known Him for years but who have been choked by the worries and distractions of this life.  

Tomorrow I will get on an airplane and go to the place that used to be my home, but this time I return as a visitor.  We will be finalizing our packing and will officially pull up all roots next week to go to Washington as a family.  I am overjoyed to see them again.  This is the longest time we have ever been apart, and I pray we will never be apart this long ever again.  Married couples, being now are not intended to live apart for long times.  Tomorrow, I will be a whole person again becauseI will be back together with my wife! Those of you who know her know that she truly is my better half.

After Christmas, we will begin heading Northwest together.  As of now, we plan on moving into our house on January 2nd.  We will see if the Lord's plans are the same!

The Work of the Holy Spirit

I have been praying for the Holy Spirit to work in my life in a bigger way.  It isn't that He hasn't been present, but I feel my actions have hampered His work in my life in recent weeks.  What I have learned about the Spirit's work is this:  if you pray that He moves in your life, step back and watch out!

This morning I believe the Spirit was leading me to a small park that is just west of the Comcast Arena (hockey arena) in the middle of downtown.  I wasn't sure why I needed to go there but I went and I sat down to observe.  I looked across the street at the building below, which I'll get to later in this post.

In the street next to the park there was an old parked car that contained a dog.  This dog was curious about me and barked continually at me as I sat.  Within minutes, a group of 3 homeless individuals walked by and headed to the car.  One of them stared at me in curiosity as she got in.  They attempted to crank the car but I heard the fateful click that indicates a dead battery.  However, the car was parked on a hill.  The driver put the car in neutral, backed up while coasting, and then popped the clutch to start the vehicle successfully.  They drove away without further issue.  Clearly, the positioning of their car was planned.  This was survival at its core.

To my right I observed individuals going into a church.  I have spoken before about churches in this city.  When driving through you will see church buildings, but many of them are closed or poorly attended.  This one was no different.  Every person walking into the building was 65 or older.  During my 30 minutes there, I only saw ONE young family enter the building.  This church is clearly in decline and is in danger of dying completely as the members die off.

I later went to Journey Church, which is a church plant run by a bunch of individuals from Houston!  As the service began, a member came up to read the scripture for the day, but he was interrupted by a homeless man who stood up asking for prayer for people who were involved in a fire this morning.  He was escorted to the back to prevent a further disruption.  As they walked to the back of the room I had a strong sense that I needed to go talk to this man.  I approached him from behind as he was in his seat crying and praying.  I asked him if I could pray with him, and he angrily got up and commented that the church clearly didn't care about his situaition.  I think he believed I was trying to get him to leave, so I followed him out to try to get him to stick around.

Once we got outside I asked him if we could just stop and pray.  He finally listened to me, and told me the story.  Early this morning I had heard a number of fire trucks screaming down the road while I was waking up.  Apparently there had been a fire in one of the high rise apartment buildings in the middle of town, and his sister and brother in law were living in the building.  He was distraught because he was unsure on whether they were okay.  Nobody at the scene was able to tell him if they were okay, and there were rumors of multiple fatalities going through the crowd around the building.

This man has been on the streets for 2 years.  He first got out on the street when his own home burned down.  He lost his wife in the tragedy, and commented that destruction seems to follow him wherever he goes.  He clearly was in tremendous pain.

We prayed together and got him to come back to the church service.  I sat with him throughout the entire service, and afterward I walked down to the building to find out what we could about his relatives.

The burned building.  Notice the black marks on the 4th and 5th floor.  

We were grateful to the Lord to find out that his relatives escaped the building without incident.  My homeless friend was visibly relieved.  We left the scene to go to McDonalds and grab something to eat, and as we walked he talked more about his life.  He and I parted company after some further prayer and I let him know where he could find me.

This afternoon I hit the streets once again in an effort to look for a place for the family to stay.  During some of my time yesterday I had done the same thing.  I was quite dejected at the time because most places in the city were either too small or didn't want so many people living in one place.  One person I spoke to had verbal distain for children and made it clear that she didn't want them in her building, so that was on my mind.  I rounded a corner one block from what I consider to be our future home and noticed a bumper sticker on a car that hit me like a hammer.

The sticker on the window says "God will provide," and to the right of the car was a sign stating that a home was available for rental.  This was the place I returned to today, thinking that perhaps the Spirit was at work.  I called and the property manager actually answered the phone and agreed to meet me within 20 minutes.  When he showed up, I explained how large our family is and that we're looking for short-term housing in the community until our house in Houston sells.  We walked the building and he noted that it might be too small for a family of our size.  However, he told me about an alternative property that was only 3 blocks away (and also very close to our future house) that was larger and had lower rent.  We checked it out and it clearly is perfect for us.  Plenty of room, bills paid, and in the neighborhood that we plan on doing our ministry in.  He's going to give us an answer tomorrow, but we are praying that the Lord will provide this as our place to stay for the coming months.

I walked back to my hotel room and "happened" to run into the homeless man that I had spent time with earlier today.  He said that he'd been looking for me because he had found work for the week up in Bellingham, which is north of Everett close to the Canadian border.  We made arrangements so that he was able to get on the bus to this city, and parted company talking about the future.

This brings me back to the work of the Holy Spirit.  He will bring you to places that you don't expect, will have you talk to people that you might not otherwise interact with, will provide for you at the moment that you need it, will give you signals that He is at work, and can use you to provide for people who need it.  He is creative, powerful, active, real, alive, and amazing.  Please pray for more of His work in me this week.

John 3:30

He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.

Lessons Learned

Our world is a beautiful facade, and almost everything in our society is part of its deception.  Don't believe me?  Scroll back up to that picture of the building at the top of this post.  Want to know what that place is?  It is the county jail.  Looks nice doesn't it?  It has a pleasing outside that fits the area.  It looks like a fancy office building.  However, its inside is full of bars, brick, and mortar, and is intended as a way to confine and imprison human beings.  People in there have little hope.

Jesus spoke of the Pharisees in these terms:

Matthew 23:27-28

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.

Our society attempts to cover up the unseemly parts so that they aren't as ugly.  We make nice looking jails that blend in with the surroundings.  We bus the homeless to other areas so their appearance doesn't disturb the quietness of our lives.  We have politicians who run for office on the idea that they will "serve" the community, but soon are drawn in by money and power and only wind up serving themselves.  But it isn't just our society that participates in this deception.  It can be personal as well.  Every Sunday people everywhere dress up to go to church and paste a smile on their faces while living any way they want during the week.  Every day people hit the road in their brand new expensive car, but can barely put food on the table at home or pay the bills.  We purchase houses that are more than we can afford in the "it" neighborhood because "we deserve it," but have to work so hard to maintain the lifestyle that our families get lost in the shuffle.  All of these things are a facade. A fake.  A deception.

What does that mean for Christians?  First, know that the world of man is a facade.  Unfortunately Satan has done much to influence this since, as the Apostle Paul says:

2 Corinthians 11:14

Even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no wonder that his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. In the end they will get the punishment their wicked deeds deserve.

We must recognize the world for what it is and work to change it in the name of Jesus.  This will only happen if we allow the Holy Spirit to reveal where He is working, and to let His light shine in the dark places of the world.  Our work in these days is less in the church building and more on the streets with real people.

I saw the newest Hobbit movie on Saturday and was struck by a particular scene (no my description won't ruin the movie for you).  In this scene, Gandalf the wizard deliberately walks into the fortress of the enemy.  It appears to be a crumbling, deserted castle, but in Gandalf's words it "was meant to look that way."  As he walks into it, he begins to work to break a spell over the place that he referred to as a "spirit of deception," and as he chants the words to break the spell, things begin to appear that were not there before.  Eventually, enemies appear in plain sight as the spell is broken, allowing their concealed evil to be revealed to everyone.

As Christians, we must recognize that we live in this same crumbling castle.  Things are not as they seem.  We must ask the Holy Spirit to open our eyes, both to His work and to the way the world really is.  Only then will our hearts be broken for the fallen state of this world so that we are moved to do something about it.  Like Gandalf, it is our job to walk into enemy strongholds and break through the hardened shell of its inhabitants with the love of the Father.  We must do these things because Jesus did this very same thing for us.

Matthew 5:14-16

“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.

Fishing

My time is not my own, and I love it that way.

The Lord has reminded me that I am here in Everett for a purpose.  While I could spend my free time watching TV or reading, I am supposed to get out into the community, learn about it, and talk to people.  I went to a local church plant on Sunday morning, and afterward I decided to walk around for the duration of the afternoon.  I prayed as I went, both for the community and for the Lord to lead me to encounter people as He sees fit.  First, I walked around my future neighborhood praying for the people there and that the Lord would speed things so that our family could move in to a house soon.

The mountains from downtown Everett, Sunday morning.

As I was going along a car pulled up to turn into a driveway.  It was a hybrid vehicle, and I heard its motor shut off as it pulled up to wait on me to cross the driveway.  I heard a voice behind me that commented loudly with surprise that the car's engine shut off in the middle of the street.  I turned around to see a young homeless man who was attempting to strike up a conversation with me.  The Lord was moving.

I walked with this young man who I will call "C" for quite a while.  I asked him questions about his life.  He lives in Everett but admitted to being 23 and homeless.  He has 2 felonies on his record and says that he can't get a job.  With 2 felony convictions, I can see that would be very difficult.  He said that he'd been sleeping in bushes at night to stay out of the wind, and showed me his hands.  They were discolored a bit, and he said that he'd only recently regained feeling in them from the cold the night before.  It had gotten down to about 12 degrees that night.  C was ashamed of his circumstances and admitted that he doesn't tell his friends that he is homeless.  He doesn't want to burden them or have them think differently of him.

We parted company but I got to give him a few dollars for a dinner prior to leaving.  I know opinions vary on giving money to the homeless, but I personally always come back to James 2 which challenges me every time I read it.

James 2:14-17

Faith without Good Deeds Is Dead

 What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good- bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?

 So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.

I then got to tell C about Jesus and that He cares for him.  C smiled and said that he "used to go to church" with his aunt.  He seemed genuinely surprised by the words and the money.  Christ was there in that moment.

Tonight I walked to a Subway restaurant down the street to eat and sit.  I got into a great conversation with one of the workers.  She also is 23 and told me about her life, her boyfriend, and her brother who is getting married soon.  It was an opportunity to interact for quite a while.  Later one of her boyfriend's friends came in as well and we got to talk some.  He later honked and waved as I was leaving.  

Evening in Everett.

What's the point of all of this?  Jesus instructs us in this way:

Matthew 4:18-20

 One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers—Simon, also called Peter, and Andrew—throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living. Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” And they left their nets at once and followed him.

Jesus modeled this in so many of the passages of the Gospels.  Many times you will find him teaching "along the way" or "on the way" to somewhere.  He ran into people all of the time and talked with them, only the truth He spoke cut to the center of their hearts.  I believe we as Christians are supposed to "fish for men" in the same way.  While we can build church buildings in the Northwest and start elaborate programs, no one will show up.  What our world is starving for is Jesus.  They need to see the Holy Spirit at work in a very real way in the lives of people that they encounter.  Our job, therefore, is to form real relationships with them that are founded on love and genuine care for them.  Real love can't be faked, and Jesus commented that the second greatest commandment was to "love your neighbor as yourself."

 

Our intent over time is to build strong bonds with people here in the community and to be Jesus to them.  That's it.  Through that, I have already seen how spiritual conversations start, and the Gospel can be presented to the person.  The goal isn't to simply be nice to people, smile a lot, and act happy.  C.S. Lewis referred to this in Mere Christianity by asking whether Christians are merely "nice people or new men."  This world is full of nice people, and many of them are not Christians!  What should separate us from the pack is that we are new.  We should be able to show them our changed lives and share in that with them.  The Holy Spirit can and will direct interactions that are based upon that.  Peter explained it this way:

1 Peter 3:15-16

Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it. But do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ.

The key factor is that we allow the Holy Spirit to do the work.  Before going out, I believe it is critical that I pray that He would take over, leading me to the people that He wants me to talk to and even guiding the conversation.  

Is there anything described here that YOU can't do each day?  If you are a Christian, it's your job.  If we're going to change this world for Christ, to bring more people to Him, we have to embody Him and be very intentional about how we interact with those around us.  Don't wait around at a church building for nonbelievers to show up.  It is unlikely they will come.  Instead, go out to them, drop your line in the water, and wait for the Holy Spirit to draw others to Him.  

Matthew 9:37-38

He said to his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.”

Remember, fishing takes time and patience.

Please pray for C and for me to have future encounters with him.  Also, please pray for the young woman I met at Subway, and for future encounters with her.

Portland to Everett: The Story Begins

I am not a good person.  Let's get that out from the beginning of this post.

Over the last few weeks I have said goodbye to so many people that I love, and so many who have looked to me for leadership in all kinds of situations.  It is very easy to listen to all of the words about yourself and begin believing them.  You begin to think that you are something, that you offer something to the world, that people need you, that you are valuable and are an asset.  I have gone down this road to nowhere and have romanced the past.  This road leads you to question your calling and to question whether you have done the right thing in leaving your entire life behind and literally starting over.  Was I supposed to leave my job that I had worked so hard to achieve?  Was I supposed to walk away from a church that embraced my family and I?  What about all of those friends?  You were just starting to get close to some people.  Are you really supposed to leave them?  What about the students and faculty that you got to impact?  Why are you walking away?  Why isn't the house selling?  Did we do something wrong or are we going in an improper direction?

These thoughts are normal and natural for a person in my position...and they are of the world.  They are wrong and they are selfish.  These very thoughts are the thoughts that cause many people to turn back to their former life.  Far too many assume that obstacles and difficulty are a sign from God that the door is closed.  Don't go this way!  It is blocked!  I say all of that to say that I have experienced every one of these emotions and asked each of these questions over the last week.  Each day is a challenge because it is so different and so uncomfortable relative to what I came from.

Here's what God's word says about situations such as these.

Matthew 7:13-14

 “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.

It is funny how subtle Satan, the accuser, can be in turning your head to the past.  It is easy to listen to those whisperings and think that they just might have a hint of truth to them.  

     Perhaps, Paul, you made a decision for yourself and weren't really following God after all.  

     Are you SURE it was God who was leading you here? 

     Didn't you just like the way the Northwest looked?  You weren't REALLY interested in the people,        were you?

     What are you really going to do in Everett?  You've never done anything like this!  You don't have any kind of training!

     What is your plan, Paul?  You don't have a plan!  You can't expect to accomplish anything without a plan?

     Paul, you are not good enough to do this work.  I know the things you have done.

How does Satan usually work?  Let's again look to scripture.

Genesis 3:1

 The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”

“Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die. ’”

 “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman.

Matthew 4:3-11

During that time the devil came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become loaves of bread.”

 But Jesus told him, “No! The Scriptures say,

‘People do not live by bread alone,

but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. ’”

 Then the devil took him to the holy city, Jerusalem, to the highest point of the Temple, and said, “If you are the Son of God, jump off! For the Scriptures say,

‘He will order his angels to protect you.

And they will hold you up with their hands

so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone. ’”

 Jesus responded, “The Scriptures also say, ‘You must not test the Lord your God. ’”

 Next the devil took him to the peak of a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. “I will give it all to you,” he said, “if you will kneel down and worship me.”

 “Get out of here, Satan,” Jesus told him. “For the Scriptures say,

‘You must worship the Lord your God

and serve only him. ’”

 Then the devil went away, and angels came and took care of Jesus.

The Lord has made it clear to me that I don't offer anything.  I am not as smart as I think, and I can't manufacture His work.  I have committed many sins, I have betrayed Him many times, and I don't deserve the calling that I have received.  The only thing I have to offer is myself, and that is all He has asked me to give.

So what patterns do we see from these two passages?  Satan is subtle in his suggestions and twists things that God has said just enough that you question it.  He also has a pattern of involving himself when a person is at a low point, such as Jesus, who had fasted for 40 days prior to his temptation.  So what can we do?  Pray, and rely completely on the Holy Spirit.

I had one of my low moments on Thursday.  I found myself back in Portland walking around among the people there and I was wondering what to do.  I don't know anyone here and don't have a guidebook to tell me what to do.  What the heck was I doing here?  And there back at home was my family.  Were we going through all of this trouble for anything at all?  Why don't I just go back the way I came?  I felt very alone, and many thoughts paraded through my head.

God in his grace said this to me in response to my anxiety about leaving my old job:

1 John 2:15-17

 Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

And I began to think about our unsold house again, and His response was:

Matthew 8:20-22

But Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place even to lay his head.”

 Another of his disciples said, “Lord, first let me return home and bury my father.”

 But Jesus told him, “Follow me now. Let the spiritually dead bury their own dead.”

And Lord, I continue to have sin in my heart!  I'm not good!  I shouldn't be here!  

2 Samuel 14:14

All of us must die eventually. Our lives are like water spilled out on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God does not just sweep life away; instead, he devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from him.

So Saturday I set out with these things on my heart.  The Lord took me to Multnomah Falls off of the Columbia River Gorge, and I worshipped His majesty as He displayed His creation.  Again, I was reminded that I am nothing and He is everything.  It was good to be still and take in His goodness.

Tonight is my first night in Everett, Washington.  I finally got to enter what Amanda and I are calling the "Promised Land."

 I unloaded my U-haul into storage, dropped the trailer, and headed to the hotel.  Even at the U-Haul facility I felt that the Lord was giving me little hints that He is in this still.  Notice that our storage unit number, randomly assigned, is the Houston area code.  He reserved this for someone from Houston.

I had a sense that I was not supposed to sit in the hotel this evening and just pass time watching TV.  I decided to look up local coffee shops so that I might go there and work on the blog, read, and perhaps talk to somebody.  I went to 2 different ones, one that was closed, and the next which was just a drive-up place.  The third intrigued me because it was advertised as a live music venue.  It also is on Wetmore Avenue, the same street that holds the house we are praying over.

The artist that was playing when I walked in was solo:  just him and his guitar.  His music was probably closest to being Folk music, but his words struck me like a hammer as I was typing.  His last song ended with the words "the story begins tonight."  It was as though the Lord himself were sitting across from me again with reassuring words.  "Paul, I have this."

The Lord is good.  I hope you can see as I do that He is involved through every step of this journey.  May He be glorified in what he does through our family.  

The story begins tonight.

California to Oregon: Day 4

The God we serve can be poetic when He wants to be.  He created the earth and everything on it, so it isn't beyond Him to put a poetic twist in your life every once in a while.

Things have come full circle for me.  I'll explain how later in this post.

Today I woke up after sleeping in my $34 per night hotel room and got going rather slowly.  Traveling 2,100 miles in 3 days will do that to you.  I went out to the parking lot to find my truck was still there, as was the U-haul trailer attached to it.  I have been doing walk-arounds each time I stop to ensure that nothing is about to fall off of either machine.  Today I noticed one of my front tires was low on air.  After checking it I saw that it was only at 20 psi...and it was at 50 when I left from Huffman.  This is a problem.

I found a Discount Tire to take it to (they fix flats for free) and they quickly determined that this was a tiny sidewall puncture.  The bad part of that is that they can't fix sidewall punctures.  I had to buy a new tire, so an hour and a half later and $260 down, I got to leave Sacramento at about 10:00 AM with a 575 mile trip to Portland ahead of me.

The further north you get in California the more beautiful it gets.  

The mountains close in on the interstate and near the top of California, you encounter a mountain range that is capped off by Mount Shasta, a large volcano that last erupted in the late 1700's.  It is 14,100 feet tall and covered in snow.  It can be seen from at least 100 miles away, and I was fortunate that today was absolutely beautiful.

I wound my way through this mountain range for about 80 miles, snaking back and fourth while ascending and descending.  There were great views of the mountain the entire way.  I had to stop a few times to get some pictures.

Shortly after that mountain range I entered a second one in southern Oregon.  

I had no idea, but this one actually stretched from the state's border all the way up to about 100 miles outside of Portland.  The sun was going down and I got to see another dazzling sunset.  The trees on the mountainsides were dusted with snow, and me and what seemed like 10,000 semi trucks wound up and down the mountain roads.  

Sunset in Oregon

Now I see that my life had come full circle.  As I got close to Portland I was overcome with emotion because this was the city God used to plant seeds in our hearts about the Northwest over 4 and a half years ago.  This was the place that sprouted eventual dreams of moving to a place of real natural beauty.  This was the place that began many evening discussions with my wife about where we would live and what we would do.  Many, many nights were focused on this area of the world...and we had no idea at the time why it was on our minds so much of the time.

As I drove in the sights became more familiar.  The river, the street names, the bridges, and the quirky people.  As I exited the freeway and followed the directions from my phone, I was led to...the very hotel that Amanda and I had stayed in while we were here on the first trip.  The same hotel.  My life for the last four and a half years had gone in a circle that I was unaware of, and this moment completed it.  This is my home for the next 2 days.

There are many more things that God used from the past 12 years of my life that have prepared Amanda and me for this adventure and we are only now beginning to see what He had been doing all along to prepare us for this moment.  These are things that, when you think back to that specific time, you questioned as "why would I need to have experienced that???" or "I have no idea how this added to my life...I'd just as soon have skipped that."  And yet God, in His wisdom, had a plan all along.  I'll try to give context to that in a future post.

So tonight I have the truck and its U-Haul parked in the lot behind the hotel, taking up 2 spaces for the next 2 days.  On Saturday or Sunday I will head to Everett to our new home.

The Lord's message to me this morning was incredibly clear and focused.  It was all about "the last days," which I believe we are living in.  You can say that these words give urgency to the mission our family is on in Everett and Seattle.  Time is short and the implications for real people are huge for eternity.  Never forget the role that YOU play in this.

2 Peter 3:3-4

Most importantly, I want to remind you that in the last days scoffers will come, mocking the truth and following their own desires. They will say, “What happened to the promise that Jesus is coming again? From before the times of our ancestors, everything has remained the same since the world was first created.”

2 Peter 3:8-10

But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends:A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day. The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent. But the day of the Lord will come as unexpectedly as a thief. Then the heavens will pass away with a terrible noise, and the very elements themselves will disappear in fire, and the earth and everything on it will be found to deserve judgment.

Mark 13:34-37

“The coming of the Son of Man can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. When he left home, he gave each of his slaves instructions about the work they were to do, and he told the gatekeeper to watch for his return. You, too, must keep watch! For you don’t know when the master of the household will return—in the evening, at midnight, before dawn, or at daybreak. Don’t let him find you sleeping when he arrives without warning. I say to you what I say to everyone:Watch for him!”

Arizona to California: Day 3

So much has happened in the last 24 hours that it is difficult to put into full context!  When I last left off I was at a KOA campground in Flagstaff, Arizona and was planning to camp overnight in my tent.  I got things set up nicely including my new inflatable air mattress (I have toughed out camping on hard ground enough;  I'm proud to compromise on "the experience" at this time in my life) and climbed into the tent.  Soon after that the wind really picked up.  Apparently the winter storm to the north was causing the wind speed to pick up in my area, so suddenly I was dealing with 30-40 mph wind gusts which were strong enough to blow my tent down on top of me.  I laid down thinking that it would either slow down or I would fall asleep, but neither happened.  The wind picked up even more and it was NOISY.  From the tent flapping to the trees blowing around, you couldn't hear yourself think.  At 10:45 I had had enough and decided to try out the motel F-250.  After moving my stuff around I and folding the back seats up, I discovered that I had enough room to lay my sleeping bag on the floor, which I did.  I crawled in, closed the doors, and slept like a baby in my truck through the night.  It was quiet and fairly comfortable.   Don't judge me.

Prior to laying down I spent a lot of time checking the weather.  I was concerned about the major snowstorm to the north and wanted to avoid it at all costs since I'm towing a trailer with me.  After waking up and checking the weather one last time, I nearly decided to go through Las Vegas and travel to Reno, Nevada.  The forecast said that there would be some snow but they were not sure how much.  However, then I attempted to start my truck.  It was 25 degrees when I woke up and I had to crank it about 4 times to get it to start.  Diesel engines are notoriously hard to start in the cold, but it got me thinking.  The low in Reno on Wednesday morning was forecast to be 0!  If I was having this much trouble at 25 degrees, I'd probably be stranded in Reno.  I prayed about it and felt comfortable heading instead to California.  This added a good 150 miles but was decidedly safe.  This turned out to be a good move since Reno got absolutely dumped on with snow today.  It is likely the roads were all closed down as a result.

I traveled from Flagstaff to Sacramento, California during the day today.  I went right through the Mojave Desert for about 200 miles and was in awe of the desolation out there.  There were no people other than the cars on the road.  

When I finally emerged on the other side, I was in Barstow, California. This place is not pretty at all.  In fact, I think it makes Odessa, Texas, where my wife is from, look pretty.  That's a stretch.

I then wound my way west and gradually north, passing through Bakersfield and experiencing an irrigated desert where much of the fresh produce in the U.S. is grown.  Once the road pointed north I passed through a number of cities that back up to the mountains, all of which are agricultural communities.  When the day was over I had traveled a whopping 761 miles.  I might have missed my calling as a truck driver!!!

Sunset over California. 

Here's what the Lord had to say today:

Mark 12:29-31

Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this:‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. ’ The second is equally important:‘Love your neighbor as yourself. ’ No other commandment is greater than these.”

2 Peter 2:19-20

They promise freedom, but they themselves are slaves of sin and corruption. For you are a slave to whatever controls you. And when people escape from the wickedness of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and then get tangled up and enslaved by sin again, they are worse off than before.

These are reminders of the work that we are going to Everett to do.  At its simplest, our job as Christians is to love the Lord and love our neighbors, which I have covered in other postings.  This is all of the time and everywhere and is not optional.  We as Christians should be concerned with setting free those who are enslaved to sin.  Francis Chan commented that America, though free, is a nation of slaves because we have so many things that ultimately control us.  Money, sex, power, etc seem to pervade the society and have literally put many into bondage that they cannot escape from.  Our job is to be the light to these individuals, to live lives in Christ that are so enticing that they draw others in and make them want to have the same thing.  This is more than just being nice or doing good deeds.  This is literally extending love and grace to everyone you encounter during the day.  They will recognize The Light that is within us and the freedom that He has given us from sin and will want the same.  This is the daily work of the church, not sitting in a pew on Sunday so we can consume more knowledge while letting the ministers minister throughout the week.  That's our job.

John 8:35-36

A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.

Texas to Arizona: Day 2

Today I woke up early and left from my Grandpa's house in Borger, TX to head due west, passing through New Mexico and ending up in Flagstaff, Arizona.  This was another LONG drive of 647 miles, but I gained an hour during the trip by switching timezones, so that made it a bit better.  I'm following a more southerly route than I had planned because of a major winter storm that is diving through Colorado and Utah.  There were predictions of 12 inches of snow along my planned route, and I didn't want to attempt that in a rear-wheel drive pickup truck pulling a trailer.

I noticed some strange signs along the way today.  I really shouldn't call anything strange anymore now that the journey has started.  The Lord has led our family a long way and, I believe, has more plans just around the bend.

So I happen to be driving along I-40 in west Texas and happen to look over at a semi truck I was passing.  It was part of a company that is in Everett, Washington.  It had the name Everett on the side of it.  

Then later I passed a road sign in New Mexico.  I'll let it speak for itself.

I am currently camping at a campground that is up against a large mountain outside of Flagstaff.  It is about 40 right now and is predicted to get down to 27 tonight.  I will be bundled up tightly.

Here's what God said this morning:

2 Peter 1:4-10

And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.

 In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self- control, and self- control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.

 The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins.

 So, dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things, and you will never fall away.

I've been listening to an outstanding audiobook by Francis Chan called "Multiply."  It is all about disciple making and how the church has gotten away from Jesus's command to "go and make disciples of all nations," with church members actively delegating that to the ministerial staff of the church and excusing themselves from it.  What's wrong with this idea?  Jesus gave a COMMAND to all of us, not just to certain people.  It isn't optional.   

I believe Peter said it very well in the passage above.  The Lord has given us some wonderful promises.  In turn, we are to share the Good News with everyone.  What exactly is the Good News?  Of course it deals with salvation offered freely by grace, but there is more to it that we sometimes don't give proper attention to.  When we are in Christ, we are a new creation.  The old is gone;  the new has come.  What does that mean for our time in this world?  While it won't always be pretty or nice or fun, we CAN live differently than the rest of mankind, with the inner joy and peace that the Spirit gives.  We can, with His help, get out of addictions, struggles, and overall bad habits and can live as someone who is made new.  If that isn't Good News, I don't know what is.  And this is all possible because of Jesus and his free offer of salvation to us.

So Peter took it a few steps further.  He said "supplement your faith with..." and filled in a lot of things.  These are things we can actively work on, with the Holy Spirit's help, and these things make us better human beings and better representatives of Jesus to the world around us.  So our challenge as believers is to work on these specific things.

Are you self-controlled in all things?

Are you patient in enduring all situations?

Do you have that quality that is referred to as "godliness?"

Do you love your neighbors as much as you love yourself?  Yes, all of your neighbors!

It says that the more you grow in these areas, the more useful you will be.  This is referring to your use in His kingdom!  That's what this life is really all about.

These are the things I have been thinking about today, and will consider them from inside of my cold tent tonight!