In this age of fathers who walk away from their families, the idea of a good father is easily lost. Many people have no experience with a good father. Instead, they experienced emotional wreckage when their dad left. It negatively impacted them, their mother, and their siblings. For school-aged kids, it affects everything from their behavior at school to their grades and self-esteem. The man who walked away from them held the title of father but didn't actually perform the role itself.
When this idea is talked about in relation to God, you may have a hard time understanding. At its worst, in your mind, God has the same attributes as the father who abandoned you. He is only concerned for himself, doesn't care about anything you are going through, is unavailable when you need him the most, and provides nothing to actually help you in your daily life. Survival each day is just you making it happen with this supposed father somewhere else. He might check in occasionally on text or phone, but he's not there to actually love you and walk through life with you.
Our viewpoint on God is much, much too low.
Jesus had this to say about our good Father from Matthew 7:9-12.
9 “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? 10 Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.
When I first became a parent, my view of the world completely changed. Previously, it was just myself and Amanda. She had a job, I was teaching, and we just did whatever we wanted in life. We didn't make a lot of money but we had a house and generally got to make our own schedule outside of our workday. Even as a teacher I remember some of the mindsets I had that were not student-friendly. I was pretty black and white because really I had no greater perspective than myself. That all changed with the arrival of Samuel.
I knew things had changed with a wake up call quite early in the morning when he decided to come in to the world. I woke up at about 2 am and Amanda was frantically getting herself ready in our bathroom. I was confused and asked her what she was doing, and she told me that her water had broken and that we needed to head out now. That is perhaps the quickest wake up I have ever experienced! Our day was interrupted, and it would be the first of many, many life interruptions as a parent. In an instant, and then over the next 17 years with my boys, my perspective has changed dramatically.
Samuel was a good baby but had colic, meaning he would scream at the top of his lungs for hours on end because he was uncomfortable. I remember coming home from work exhausted many days to walk in the door to him screaming, with Amanda handing him off to me and leaving the room. I generally spent the next two hours holding him and trying to help him calm down. Whatever plans I had at the moment or for the evening were officially wiped out, and so was I! And when we finally got him to bed in the early evening, he would wake up ever hour and a half to two hours because he was hungry or needed a diaper change. I didn't like coffee before that moment, but I learned to love it in a short period of time.
You see, I learned quickly that Samuel had his own schedule and his own needs. He was completely helpless without me and Amanda. I could have been upset with him for being so selfish in that first year (sometimes I was), but it wouldn't have ultimately mattered. He was a baby at the time and babies have specific needs that can't really be planned for or put off or ignored. That's just the way babies are. And as a father I recognized this and did everything I could possibly do to attend to those needs.
Zachary later came along, and while he didn't decide to come into the world during the night, he did come into the world and got sick the first two weeks of his life. We feared we would lose him and it shook me up for many months after we got through it.
When we adopted three wonderful boys, we experienced an entirely new level of parenting, bringing kids who were not originally in our family and taking them on as an Edwards. This came with more interruptions, more needs, additional heartache and heavier challenges. We had even more late nights, more discipline, more coaching conversations, more hugs and pats on the back, and more hours of lost sleep. Those things also are all a part of parenting and being a dad. And through it all I learned to love them and work for the best good for them, and they blessed me in it all.
Over time as I reflected on my experiences as a father, and continued to go through more of them, I gained a little better understanding of who God is and what Jesus's words really meant when it came to myself and him.
You see, God is the Good Father. He is available at all moments because he is everywhere. He is aware of everything about us including what we have experienced, what we feel, and what we think. We have never been anywhere in this world where he is absent. He has walked through the painful moments with us because he was present. And because of that, and because he made us, he knows what we need.
God knows that you need food and a place to live and clothing. If you have those things, it is because he allowed them in your life. That is why we should thank him everyday for those things. In your mind you may believe you provided them. After all, wasn't it your paycheck that purchased those things? But remember, that job that provides you a paycheck is also from God. And your skills and abilities that allow you to work are from God. Were you able to go to college or a school to learn how to do these things? That also is from God.
Did you get out of bed breathing and with energy? God allowed that too, both the sleep you got and the fact that you woke up ready. Whether you recognize it or not, you have many blessings in your life that were provided by him. You see, every single day we have things we can be thankful for that are gifts directly from his hands!
This Good Father goes so much further though. Have you ever been angry with God? Really angry with him? Have you ever said or thought things about him that were angry and spiteful and cruel? I have. I said them because I was hurting and didn't understand the times I was in and his purpose behind them. So I lashed out.
Perhaps you have thought little of what Jesus did for you. You have gone through each day as though you made it and you are in control and have security in Jesus, but then don't acknowledge him at all. The day just kind of happened and you later threw up some insincere prayer of thanks that you've prayed a million times at dinner or bedtime, and you felt you had done your deed for the day. But you didn't connect with God at all that day. I have also done this.
I want you to notice that these things we do toward God are hurtful. I'm certain he is sad that we treat him that way. I'm certain he is sad because we continue in our sin and don't really "get" our relationship with him. I'm certain he is dismayed when we scorn the gift that Jesus is in our lives and treat what he did as something that is small or insignificant. And yet, this Good Father doesn't leave or abandon us. Not once. Not ever.
Surely you have been like me, running back to this Good Father when things are bad or difficult or when you just had nowhere else to run. And you found that he was right there where you left him. And he wasn't cold or distant. He wrapped his arms around you and comforted you and walked through that situation with you. He shed tears when you did and felt what you felt, because he loves you.
You see, when my own kids have done things like that to me, I felt a prodding from the Lord. It was a gentle reminder that I can sometimes be that way to him, and yet he is committed to me. He has reassured that he won't leave me no matter what. Those situations are like him holding a mirror up to me so I can finally see the ugliness of how I have treated him.
You see, when Jesus referred to God the Father, he knew him as his Father. Jesus himself experienced fellowship with God the Father like no one else ever has. He knew firsthand that his Father never left or abandoned him. He knew the goodness of the Father firsthand.
And it was Jesus who taught us how to be true children of this Good Father, because children do what their Father does.
Matthew 5:43 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’[q] and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies![r] Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your friends,[s] how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.
This may look like a set of instructions from Jesus to us, and it is. But look deeper. He's describing attributes of this Good Father that his children must mimic. They include:
- loving enemies of ours. He did that when he loved you before you loved him.
- praying for those who persecute you. Jesus did this for his persecutors, and the Holy Spirit does that for you all the time.
- love those who do not love us. He does that with all the people of the world, even if they don't know him yet.
I cannot take away the hurt and disarray that your earthly father might have caused you. What's done is done. What I can do, though, is point you to someone who isn't anything like that. He's waiting for you with open arms, today, right now, to take you back and take you in and let you feel his love.
He's different.
He's good.
He's better than any father you have ever seen. And he is your Father, if you will have him.
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