Cynicism and its Antidote

To become cynical is to experience a poison that runs through your bloodstream and sucks the very life out of you.  Joy is gone and replaced with sadness and hardness.  Excitement and anticipation are replaced with depression.  Anger sets in and the person tends to withdraw from others.  When it is at its worst, it seems that all hope is lost.  For a Christian this is probably one of the sorriest outcomes because it can affect everything that the person does.

The last few months I have lived out this type of cynicism which seems to have set in from a constant barrage of things in my life which have gradually sapped strength and left me feeling empty.  There have been plenty of things to include in the list:  things at home with the kids, things from work, things through our church, broken relationships, dysfunctional relationships, too much to do, being unable to meet the expectations of others, and being unable to achieve the expectations I have for why we are in the Pacific Northwest.  These things have come in a steady stream, wave after wave, and have helped me to realize that while I used to think of myself as a rocky cliff being battered on the seashore, I'm really a sandcastle being washed away.

The reason this has set in with me begins with my relationship with the Lord.  Everything begins and ends there for the life of a Christian.  When we are walking in relationship with Him, life isn't easy by any means but it is bearable.  When we are not walking in close relationship, the strength we think we have is sapped.  Some churches out there seem to teach that as you get closer to the Lord you yourself get stronger, more invincible, more powerful, and even more prosperous.  That has not been my experience and isn't supported by the Bible.  What I see is that the further you go down the road with Him, the more you need Him.  One could even say you become weaker because He becomes the source of life in you, that "bubbling spring" that Jesus talked about whose source isn't in yourself but in Himself.  While that source is everlasting, you have to drink from it constantly and continually or you will find your strength gone.  That is God's way:  to put to death all of yourself as you live the rest of your life.

Recently I had to take a break over the weekend so that I could just be alone with the Lord.  I went off to the mountains by myself just to sit with him and to talk.  Those moments are always very powerful because I'm removed from all of the noise of life.  And if there is one major criticism I have with American culture is that there is too much noise in life.  We will devote every waking moment to getting things or achieving things or doing things, bringing ourselves to utter exhaustion.  And as we go deeper into this pattern we rarely look up to see that we are only building a sandcastle that will be washed away by the rising tide.  We are blind.  And so for me my cure for blindness and deafness is to go away to the mountains to just listen to what the Lord has to say.

I reached the peak of a mountain that gave perhaps the best panoramic views of the North Cascade mountains that I have ever seen.  For a while I just sat there to take it in, remembering that all of these things were created by the Lord's own hand.  It is magnificent when you think about it all.  You examine the ridge of a particular mountain, looking at the seeming randomness of its shape, the plunging cliffs, the spotty trees on its side, the snow and glaciers, and think about it being all part of a grand design.  And not just that!  It was designed for our use and enjoyment.  Man is unable to make anything so beautiful as I saw on that day.

On the mountain I confessed to the Lord that I had become cynical.  I saw it in my attitude.  I heard it in my voice as I talked to people around me.  I recognized it in my morning quiet times which had become little more than a time of sitting and anticipating all of the problems of the day.  I simply asked the Lord to draw the cynicism out of me as poison is drawn from a wound.  I know that if you are bitten by certain snakes or spiders, the venom has to be literally pulled from the wound, and I believe cynicism is that way too.  It has to be pulled out, removed, and discarded.

The Lord brought to me a few passages from Psalms on that day which brought healing and were a reminder of who He is.  Here they are.

Psalm 145:13-19
The Lord always keeps his promises;
    he is gracious in all he does.^[b]
14 The Lord helps the fallen
    and lifts those bent beneath their loads.
¹⁵ The eyes of all look to you in hope;
    you give them their food as they need it.
¹⁶ When you open your hand,
    you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.
¹⁷ The Lord is righteous in everything he does;
    he is filled with kindness.
¹⁸ The Lord is close to all who call on him,
    yes, to all who call on him in truth.
¹⁹ He grants the desires of those who fear him;
    he hears their cries for help and rescues them.

Psalm 146:5-8New Living Translation (NLT)

⁵ But joyful are those who have the God of Israel^[a] as their helper,
    whose hope is in the Lord their God.
⁶ He made heaven and earth,
    the sea, and everything in them.
    He keeps every promise forever.
⁷ He gives justice to the oppressed
    and food to the hungry.
The Lord frees the prisoners.
⁸     The Lord opens the eyes of the blind.
The Lord lifts up those who are weighed down.
    The Lord loves the godly.

 Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted
    and bandages their wounds.

Psalm 147:10-11

 ¹⁰ He takes no pleasure in the strength of a horse
    or in human might.
¹¹ No, the Lord’s delight is in those who fear him,
    those who put their hope in his unfailing love.

So here I read about the Lord helping those bent beneath heavy loads (Psalm 145:14), that He is close to those who call upon him in truth (v 18), that he rescues (v 19), that He frees prisoners (Psalm 146:7), opens eyes (v 8), lifts up those who are weighed down (v8), heals the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3), and that he delights in those who put their hope in His love (Psalm 147:11).  Each of those were nuggets of truth that I needed at that moment.  Each of them provided an antidote to the poison of cynicism.

I don't know what burdens you are carrying at this moment.  What I do know and what really matters is that you were not meant to carry your burden by yourself.  And I also know from experience that many of the burdens on us are things we have laid on ourselves due to expectations of American culture, our workplace, or others around us.  If you will just come to a place where you realize how weak you are and how unable you are to carry that burden, you are on the path to genuine healing from the Lord Himself.  He is mighty and He is powerful and He knows all things.  But He does not usually assert himself on someone who doesn't want help or outright refuses it.  He will allow us to discover our need for Him and then, only then, will He come to the rescue.

I came down the mountain that day on a road to being healed from a cynical attitude.  Had you been with me on that day you would not have heard a voice from the clouds, and you wouldn't have seen someone who looks like a person but had the appearance of lightning.  Even so, I know that the Lord was there in that moment, and He will do the same for you if you will just stop and take the time to talk and listen to Him.

A church planter here once advised me to have a quiet place I can run to in the tough times to go be with the Lord.  I think that advice rings true for all of us.  You also need a quiet place to go and be with the Lord and to hear from the Healer and the lover of your soul.  So if you find yourself in the middle of a busy time and feel as though your life is being choked off, or that you are drowning in all that you have to do, take some time to go be alone with the Lord.  Get to know Him in those moments.  You will find a God who won't condemn you, drive you further into the ground, or further hurt you.  He is the one about whom it is said "will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle (Isaiah 42:3).  To the weak reed and flickering candles out there, go to him to be restored!

Psalm 46:10New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁰ “Be still, and know that I am God!
    I will be honored by every nation.
    I will be honored throughout the world.”