Lonely, Yet Not Alone

One thing that never was really emphasized in any of the training I've experienced or in books I've read about living on a mission is the loneliness associated with it.  I'm not sure if there is an underlying assumption in those resources that you are well connected with other people or if you are doing this work in your own community.  Regardless, going to a new place that God told you to go to is a lonely experience.  While our family is not overseas as other families we know are, we might as well be.  Washington is about as different from Texas as you could ever imagine.  That isn't a bad thing, but it is not what we have grown up with and has required a lot of adaptation.

When you move away from everyone and everything you know, in a sense you start over.  One of the more painful realizations I have come to is that life goes on in the place where you left, something I witnessed firsthand on my recent trip to Texas.  People move on.  They make new friends and they get older.  Their kids grow up.  Things are very different, and every time you go back to that place it is as though you've skipped forward in time with a time machine.  In your mind things are the same as they were when you left, but reality hits when you step off the plane and see the city you once knew has grown larger.  Then you run into people you know and they have changed, with new friends, spouses, or children.  Kids that you remember to be small are now almost as tall as you are.  Everything has changed right under your nose.  None of this is bad, but it is a reminder in the moment that things are no longer as they were.

When I have talked to others about moving to the Northwest or some other station that God would post them to, the most frequent reason I've heard for not doing it relates to family.  Most people can't imagine moving away from their family, and doing so is a hard thing to do.  For us we've also experienced the death of many loved ones early on in our marriage.  Amanda has already laid to rest both of her parents, and I have lost my mom.  All of our grandparents are gone.  This has at times heightened our feelings of isolation.

I have found that the holidays are particularly hard times for those who have lost beloved family members.  For some reason that I will never understand, many people seem to die around the holidays.  But even if they don't, holidays are times in which you would have normally gotten together with them, so you tend to reminisce about them and slide into sadness.  And it happens every year.  This happened to me yet again on Christmas day.  While my kids were opening presents and overjoyed at things that they received, I made a gradual slide from anticipation to disgust to anger and finally to sadness.  I had to get out of the house.

As I ran and walked toward Port Gardner, which has become a place of solitude for me during tough moments, I asked God why it had to be this way.  I don't like reliving the death of loved ones or wistfully reminiscing about holiday experiences from long ago.  In those moments it feels like you are at the funeral looking in the casket all over again.  Like the main character from the movie "Groundhog Day," no matter what you do you seem to wake up again and again in that same space.

I found my usual rock to sit on overlooking the water. The harbor had a hovering fog that day with a few breaks into blue sky.  It is always a beautiful and ever-changing spot where I can see the works of the Lord firsthand.  With tears streaming down my face I told the Lord that I missed those times with my family and friends.  I missed the way things used to be and the life we used to have.  And all was still in that moment.  The water was almost perfectly flat and there was barely a breeze.

The view over Port Gardner in Everett, looking toward Whidbey Island.

In that moment, some things popped into my head that I think the Lord was helping me with.  First and foremost, the gentle reminder that those things I remember were wonderful and beautiful experiences with family.  I will have those memories as long as I'm alive.  Yet those moments won't come back no matter what I do to make them come back.  Move back to Houston?  Nope.  That doesn't change the fact that many of the people in my memories have passed away.  Nor does it deal with the absolute fact that the Lord wants our family here.  Fly back for a visit?  While that is always a wonderful experience, if I have the expectation that things will be the same as they were I will be crushed with disappointment. 

Several other things were established in my mind during that quiet time by the frigid water.  The Lord reminded me that while I'm away from many loved ones and feeling lonely, I am not alone.  I have never been alone.  Everywhere I have been and everywhere I'm going to be is where He is.  Psalm 139 captures it beautifully:

I can never escape from your Spirit!
    I can never get away from your presence!
⁸ If I go up to heaven, you are there;
    if I go down to the grave,^[a] you are there.
⁹ If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me.
¹¹ I could ask the darkness to hide me
    and the light around me to become night—
¹²     but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
    Darkness and light are the same to you.

In John chapter 1 Jesus also gave voice to his ability to be in all places at all times.  He was walking with one of the disciples, Philip, and they were approaching a man that Philip had talked to about Jesus, imploring him to come meet this unique individual.
 
⁴⁷ As they approached, Jesus said, “Now here is a genuine son of Israel—a man of complete integrity.”
⁴⁸ “How do you know about me?” Nathanael asked.
Jesus replied, “I could see you under the fig tree before Philip found you.”

In that moment, I needed to know that I was seen while sitting on that lonely rock.  And I was seen, and heard, and seen through like a pane of glass in that moment.  

Many people here would probably explain this away by saying that, yes, many places in Puget Sound are beautiful and can help you to clear your head.  While I don't disagree with that statement on the surface, it tends to spotlight the blindness that so many people here have.  They worship the created rather than the creator.  What I experienced on that day was the presence of the Lord Himself, just like I experienced that same presence in India on a rooftop overlooking a very dirty city, and similar to what I experience in my own study at home during morning quiet times.  It isn't necessarily the place that is special.  Rather, it is that I went off to a place to be alone with the Lord, and He was there.

1 Kings 19:12b-13 And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.
And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

What I can easily forget is that the Lord is not only present, not only accessible, but is extremely personable.  The One who sees me as I go from place to place knows me fully.  He sees through my exterior and knows me better than I know myself.  And knowing someone like that requires incredible love.  Life-changing love.  Earth-shattering love.  One person can't study another to that great a depth without loving them. 

It isn't easy or fun for me to share these things openly, but I do that for a purpose.  Some of you may be experiencing the same things I have.  You've lost loved ones and find yourself grieving over them with every birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or other holiday.  Or, you may feel as though you are all alone in this life, knowing many people but not really having friendships with them.  You may have had a bad experience from your past that took you off the narrow road leading to the Lord and you've been on the wide road to destruction for some time, cynical about God, angry at life, hurt by others, and unable to move on.  

The best news out there is that the Lord loves you still, waits for you with open arms, is compassionate in forgiveness.  No matter where you go, He is there watching you.  Not as a security guard or a stalker or thundercloud ready to zap you with a lightning bolt when you do wrong, but as one who loves you more than anyone has loved you and who wants above all things for you to live in relationship with Him.  You are His beloved all of the time.

With this in mind, I encourage you to do as I was able to do.  Go find a quiet place away from people and pour out what is on your heart to the Lord.  He will listen and will not condemn.  Previously I have made the mistake of taking things like this to my spouse, but that is wrong.  While they might be able to listen, they can't deal with things like the Lord can.  There's a reason the Bible implores us to "cast our cares (anxieties) on him."  It's because He wants us to do that.

Know that just because you are loved like that does not mean things will be easy in life.  Loved ones will still die.  Tragedy will still strike.  People will disappoint you.  You will experience frustration and failure.  While He wants what is best for you, He knows that what is best for you isn't always comfort.  In fact, it frequently is not comfort that He will bring to your life.  But each of those situations can bring you closer to the One who loves you, and can be used to give you a life of fulfillment, joy, and excitement in Him.  

As you experience those things in your life, remember that you have not been abandoned.  You don't walk on an empty road by yourself.  

You may feel lonely in that moment, but you are not alone.

Sharing the Message in a Sophisticated Society

Our society is one of sophistication.  We know a lot of things, we own a lot of things, we investigate a lot of things, and we believe a lot of things.  We are rich beyond the wildest dreams of most people in this world.  The things we construct nowadays are amazing monuments to human ingenuity, including buildings and bridges and extending to powerful computers we can put into our pockets.  We have it all.

In a society that is so sophisticated and is learning all of the time, it is not easy to be a witness for Jesus.  It isn't that the message has changed.  Rather it is that the message falls on more and more deaf ears.  Why do I need Jesus when I can purchase my happiness in periodic chunks?  Why do I need Jesus when I have so many things to do that I can do on my own?  We are wealthy, insulated, and above all things cynical.  And ultimately our society is both blind and deaf spiritually.

The Apostle Paul lived in a sophisticated society when he wrote both of the Corinthian letters in the New Testament.  Corinth was a city of sophistication which was a major point of world and regional trade.  Paul was a guy who worked to support himself, bragging at one point that no one else supported his ministry financially.  He considered sharing the message with others a privilege and loved that he was able to do it for free.  To do this, however, he likely had to work long hours making tents, awnings, and perhaps even sails for ships.  I imagine him having a space in the marketplace of the time, which put him right in the middle of all of the activity in his city.  He likely used his space to share the Gospel message with many in the marketplace.

But Paul lived in a skeptical society just like we do here in America.  Sharing the message while living among people who think they have things figured out can be a very tough road.  Paul understood that, and he commented on it this way:

2 Corinthians 4
³ If the Good News we preach is hidden behind a veil, it is hidden only from people who are perishing. ⁴ Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.

That means that we need new methods, right?  Perhaps a new way of sharing the message.  More training perhaps.  Maybe the ways in which the message about Jesus and what He did for us is no longer relevant, or needs to be dressed up a bit to make it appealing to our society.  But Paul continued his earlier thought by stating that in the midst of all of this, his message stayed focused on Jesus.

⁵ You see, we don’t go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus’ sake. ⁶ For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.

It is unfortunate that so many churches and ministers have gone the opposite way, spending huge chunks of time making the message about themselves, and making their church into self-help seminars.  It isn't supposed to be this way, and Paul called out those in his own time who were doing that same thing.  The churches that did things that way were plain to see, much like the churches that advertise themselves now by using the pastor's name or picture.  The message became the person and not Jesus.

So if it isn't about any new method of sharing, how do we do it?  Paul gave us his usual keen insight.
 
⁷ We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure.^[b] This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.

Here are some things I know from my limited experience in making things made out of clay:

• It is made up of tiny particles of dirt and materially has no value.  You or I could go to any river and find more clay for free with nothing but our hands to work with.
• Clay pots can't be recycled as glass can.  If you break a coffee mug, for example, it is forever broken.  It is good for nothing other than to be thrown away.
• Clay is easily replaceable.  

So Christians are just like clay pots.  By ourselves, we are ordinary.  We are cracked and chipped, and ultimately on our own have no real value.  We are more like a Solo cup than a gold goblet.  Yet we contain in us a treasure of monumental value.  Why would the Lord choose to put His amazing treasure in such a container?

The treasure is placed in this fragile, worthless, and ordinary clay pot of me and you because the message is about the treasure, not about the pot.  The treasure shines more brightly out of the ordinary container.

One great secret of the Christian life that few Americans seem to understand these days is that the life is not at all easy.  Your life is improved with Christ in it, but it is not made easier.  Amazingly, your circumstances make less sense as a Christian than they did before you believed.  There are more pressures, more testing, more difficulty and more moments of anguish.  Each of those moments develops cracks in us, the ordinary clay pot.  And as more and more cracks develop, the treasure shines through the cracks and becomes more and more evident.  

It isn't that we become stronger over time.  Instead, we may become weaker, which paradoxically allows Jesus to shine more brightly than ever before.  And with time it also becomes more obvious that the clay pot is only being held together by God's Spirit.  When this becomes evident to everyone around you, there we find the point of it all.  Jesus uses the weak, the unable, the impossible person, to shine His light through that person.  The message is about the treasure, not about the pot. 

2 Corinthians 4:7b- This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
  
I believe that the most effective way to share the message in our sophisticated society is by living as the broken and ordinary vessels we are and allowing the treasure of Jesus to shine out of our lives.  People should see us living in radical obedience to the commands of Jesus.  They should see His love and His life shining out from us, even in difficulty and in spite of difficulty.  What I'm describing is not a joyless existence where the person is frowning all of the time, crushed by their burdens.  Instead what I'm describing is a person who is only held together by the Lord's Spirit, who presses on because the Lord Himself is empowering them to trudge with one foot in front of the other.  The person doing this is doing it because they love the Lord so very much and have complete understanding that He loves them to a degree that could never be measured.  Knowledge of such love always seeps out of us in our actions and words.  It can't be faked.

So live your life in front of others in this kind of radical devotion.  Let the light of Jesus shine through your cracks.  Let others see you as ordinary and weak.  Then, the treasure within will undeniable.  The message is about the treasure, not the container that the treasure is in.

What if?

  

Recently I was reading a book that asked a pretty insightful question about our churches today.  If a spy were to enter your church just to see what was going on so that they could report back to someone else, what would they be able to report back?  Would they comment on the type of music, how the people sit and group themselves, how they talk to each other, or what the message was about?  Or would it be something else?

Apparently back in the ancient Roman times, a certain emperor was nervous about this new "Christian" movement so he did just that:  sent spies out to see what these people were doing.  One of the spies reported back to him with this simple comment:  "Behold, how they love each other!"

Would that same thing be said about us today?

We live in an age where countless people are searching for answers following events such as the massacre of police officers in Dallas.  It is even tempting as Christians to question why events like that happen, and to an extent, why we have to live through things such as this.  Yet people around us do examine how we respond to things such as this, along with normal difficulties in life.  What makes the Christian response different from the world's response?

Many people are familiar with the story from John 13 regarding the time when Jesus washed the feet of his disciples.  His guys had been walking all day in sandals and were reclining at the dinner table with him on the evening before he was to be murdered.  Probably with some dismay, he noticed that no one had washed their feet nor had they volunteered to do that for others.  The feet, after all, are the dirtiest part of the body.  So being Jesus, he simply stood up without a word, grabbed a towel, and one by one, went around the table to wash the feet of each of the disciples.

After doing this, he commented:

 12 “Do you understand what I was doing? 13 You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. 14 And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. 15 I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you.

He also said in the same chapter:

34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

How his words should challenge us!  While you and I tend to look for things we can do, projects to complete, visible, tangible activities in our communities or among peers that we can do to point to Jesus, the man Himself was pointing at something else.  He said that our love for each other will prove to the world that we are His disciples.  Our love.  The way we love.  The actions we do to each other that are tied to that love.  The way we serve one another.  The way we provide for each other's needs.  The way we care and show regard.  The way we treat each other equally no matter what.  So while the observer might not choose to believe in this Jesus guy, our actions should tell the story to them that we believe He is who He says He is, and that we are followers of His.   In fact, our love and its associated actions should be radical compared to what the observer has seen in the world.

What do your actions toward others say about your beliefs regarding Jesus?  Could someone accuse you of showing radical love to other Christians, or to people in general?

The Apostle Peter later expanded on this idea by saying:

22 You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters.[d] Love each other deeply with all your heart.[e]

All too often these days, the Church doesn't meet the standard that Jesus and Peter described.  And to my own shame, I realize that many times I have not met that standard either.  We have become too adept at forming factions, fighting with each other, or criticizing each other.  And perhaps even worse, we've taken the step of isolating ourselves from others even when we go to church.  We may attend and listen to a message, but we avoid talking to others and avoid anything resembling community.  When we go home, we stay at home and don't go out.  When we do go out, we only spend time with those whose beliefs match ours, not with people who don't believe.  Many nowadays don't even frequently attend anywhere because they feel they can worship the Lord anywhere, yet when they are out there, they don't worship!

Several years ago I had a Sunday School teacher who asked all of us to turn to look at our spouses and tell them plainly "you are not my enemy."  Church, your enemy is not a fellow believer!

You may be thinking that you don't participate in arguments in the church.  You don't criticize others and you aren't part of some group.  But what does your Facebook wall, Instagram or Twitter feed say?  What story would your text messages to others tell us about you?  If we overheard your conversations with others, what would their content tell us?  So many of us have taken to social media now to criticize each other incessantly.  Like it or not, there are Jesus followers on both ends of the political spectrum, yet some of us will give an intense critical rant online regarding feelings about Trump, Hillary, Bernie, the political Left or Right, while at the same time remaining silent on the things of Jesus.  Others have posted incendiary things regarding the incident in Dallas.  I've seen numerous posts recently proclaiming something to the effect of "if you don't believe like I do, then go ahead and unfriend me now."  That blanket statement appears to apply to everyone including fellow Christians.  Brothers and sisters, it isn't supposed to be this way!

What If?

So what if it were different for us?  What if Christians as a whole were to take these ideas to heart and were to truly act differently?

Peter continued his earlier thought by stating:

 So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech. 2 Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, 3 now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness.

There is a lot buried in this small passage.  What if we chose to no longer be deceitful to anyone?  Deceit involves concealing or misrepresenting the truth.  Have you ever done that to a neighbor or coworker?  Your kids?  Have you withheld facts to lead someone to a conclusion you wanted them to reach.  That is deceit.

What if we chose to get rid of all unkind speech? People are going to disagree with your political views and your viewpoint regarding Dallas, guns, political leanings, sports teams, and even what kind of food is the healthiest.  Your online posts are highly unlikely to change their minds on any of that stuff.  While my personal stance is to not wade into those things at all because they lead nowhere, you may feel differently.  But I challenge you to weigh your words against the standard of kind speech.  Is what you are saying helpful, gentle, tentative, and respectful?  Does it convey love for the recipient, or does it place blame or condemnation?  The one and only important issue at stake in this world is this:  how does that person feel about Jesus?  Are you, in posting or saying something that is incendiary, shutting someone off from listening to your message about Jesus?  Think about that for a minute.

What if each day Christians as a whole "craved pure spiritual milk?"  That seems to me to indicate a daily practice of prayer, reading the Word, and thinking on the things the Lord is saying to you.  If you're spending that kind of time with the Lord, I believe you and I can face just about anything the day throws at us.

The Apostle Paul gives us perhaps even more sobering words for this generation that you and I need to consider here:

Philippians 2:3-4New Living Translation (NLT)

3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

What if the Church were to regularly, actively do these things, particularly in thinking of others as better than ourselves?  What effect would it have on an America that is now deeply divided?  What effect would it have on an American culture that is suspicious of organized religion and is reluctant to commit to following this Jesus guy?  I suspect that if we regularly thought of others as better of ourselves, we would speak differently, act differently, make social media posts differently, and probably spend our time differently.  We might even hang out with a different group of people than we currently do!  What if we embraced our role as builders and peacemakers?

One way to view the role of a Christian in this world is that of an ambassador.  Ambassadors represent the interests of a country and ultimately a king, and they live among another people and do that every single day.  You and I are people of another country, and our homes and businesses are the embassies of that country.  What effect would it have if we all were to start thinking of our daily work and the places where we spend the most time in those terms!

Would it then be said about us "Behold, how they love each other!" or "how they love people!"  Like it or not, this is our work in this world, and it is hard.  We are called to love our fellow Christian brothers and sisters, and we are called to love the people in this world, our neighbors, meaning literally everyone around us.  In fact, I believe the Lord will keep us here to do that very thing until He determines that it is time for us to go.  We have been given a job, and that job is relatively simple but extremely challenging:  love people with the same love that Jesus showed.  Now we have to go do it.

It has been hammered into me over and over again that the only way to proclaim the Gospel is by sharing the Good News about Jesus with those around us, and we should do that.  But we can't forget that Jesus lived the Good News.  And the Good News is that people, all people, all undeserving of grace, are freely given forgiveness for sins and aren't subject to the consequences of them if we will just believe that Jesus took the punishment for us and rose again.  While Jesus's death on the cross fulfilled it once and for all, He lived it day to day during his 3-year ministry when he healed the sick, forgave the sinner, counseled with those on the wrong path, and taught the way to life.  What would be the effect on this country if you and I would just do that, and stop our coarse, foolish, and unhelpful talk?

I hope this makes my fellow believers think about their actions and words this week.  It is time for us to stop acting like the rest of the world.  It is time for us to begin acting as Peter described in 1 Peter chapter 2 as "living stones" and "holy priests."  Let's fully embrace the role of ambassador this week.

Cynicism and its Antidote

To become cynical is to experience a poison that runs through your bloodstream and sucks the very life out of you.  Joy is gone and replaced with sadness and hardness.  Excitement and anticipation are replaced with depression.  Anger sets in and the person tends to withdraw from others.  When it is at its worst, it seems that all hope is lost.  For a Christian this is probably one of the sorriest outcomes because it can affect everything that the person does.

The last few months I have lived out this type of cynicism which seems to have set in from a constant barrage of things in my life which have gradually sapped strength and left me feeling empty.  There have been plenty of things to include in the list:  things at home with the kids, things from work, things through our church, broken relationships, dysfunctional relationships, too much to do, being unable to meet the expectations of others, and being unable to achieve the expectations I have for why we are in the Pacific Northwest.  These things have come in a steady stream, wave after wave, and have helped me to realize that while I used to think of myself as a rocky cliff being battered on the seashore, I'm really a sandcastle being washed away.

The reason this has set in with me begins with my relationship with the Lord.  Everything begins and ends there for the life of a Christian.  When we are walking in relationship with Him, life isn't easy by any means but it is bearable.  When we are not walking in close relationship, the strength we think we have is sapped.  Some churches out there seem to teach that as you get closer to the Lord you yourself get stronger, more invincible, more powerful, and even more prosperous.  That has not been my experience and isn't supported by the Bible.  What I see is that the further you go down the road with Him, the more you need Him.  One could even say you become weaker because He becomes the source of life in you, that "bubbling spring" that Jesus talked about whose source isn't in yourself but in Himself.  While that source is everlasting, you have to drink from it constantly and continually or you will find your strength gone.  That is God's way:  to put to death all of yourself as you live the rest of your life.

Recently I had to take a break over the weekend so that I could just be alone with the Lord.  I went off to the mountains by myself just to sit with him and to talk.  Those moments are always very powerful because I'm removed from all of the noise of life.  And if there is one major criticism I have with American culture is that there is too much noise in life.  We will devote every waking moment to getting things or achieving things or doing things, bringing ourselves to utter exhaustion.  And as we go deeper into this pattern we rarely look up to see that we are only building a sandcastle that will be washed away by the rising tide.  We are blind.  And so for me my cure for blindness and deafness is to go away to the mountains to just listen to what the Lord has to say.

I reached the peak of a mountain that gave perhaps the best panoramic views of the North Cascade mountains that I have ever seen.  For a while I just sat there to take it in, remembering that all of these things were created by the Lord's own hand.  It is magnificent when you think about it all.  You examine the ridge of a particular mountain, looking at the seeming randomness of its shape, the plunging cliffs, the spotty trees on its side, the snow and glaciers, and think about it being all part of a grand design.  And not just that!  It was designed for our use and enjoyment.  Man is unable to make anything so beautiful as I saw on that day.

On the mountain I confessed to the Lord that I had become cynical.  I saw it in my attitude.  I heard it in my voice as I talked to people around me.  I recognized it in my morning quiet times which had become little more than a time of sitting and anticipating all of the problems of the day.  I simply asked the Lord to draw the cynicism out of me as poison is drawn from a wound.  I know that if you are bitten by certain snakes or spiders, the venom has to be literally pulled from the wound, and I believe cynicism is that way too.  It has to be pulled out, removed, and discarded.

The Lord brought to me a few passages from Psalms on that day which brought healing and were a reminder of who He is.  Here they are.

Psalm 145:13-19
The Lord always keeps his promises;
    he is gracious in all he does.^[b]
14 The Lord helps the fallen
    and lifts those bent beneath their loads.
¹⁵ The eyes of all look to you in hope;
    you give them their food as they need it.
¹⁶ When you open your hand,
    you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.
¹⁷ The Lord is righteous in everything he does;
    he is filled with kindness.
¹⁸ The Lord is close to all who call on him,
    yes, to all who call on him in truth.
¹⁹ He grants the desires of those who fear him;
    he hears their cries for help and rescues them.

Psalm 146:5-8New Living Translation (NLT)

⁵ But joyful are those who have the God of Israel^[a] as their helper,
    whose hope is in the Lord their God.
⁶ He made heaven and earth,
    the sea, and everything in them.
    He keeps every promise forever.
⁷ He gives justice to the oppressed
    and food to the hungry.
The Lord frees the prisoners.
⁸     The Lord opens the eyes of the blind.
The Lord lifts up those who are weighed down.
    The Lord loves the godly.

 Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted
    and bandages their wounds.

Psalm 147:10-11

 ¹⁰ He takes no pleasure in the strength of a horse
    or in human might.
¹¹ No, the Lord’s delight is in those who fear him,
    those who put their hope in his unfailing love.

So here I read about the Lord helping those bent beneath heavy loads (Psalm 145:14), that He is close to those who call upon him in truth (v 18), that he rescues (v 19), that He frees prisoners (Psalm 146:7), opens eyes (v 8), lifts up those who are weighed down (v8), heals the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3), and that he delights in those who put their hope in His love (Psalm 147:11).  Each of those were nuggets of truth that I needed at that moment.  Each of them provided an antidote to the poison of cynicism.

I don't know what burdens you are carrying at this moment.  What I do know and what really matters is that you were not meant to carry your burden by yourself.  And I also know from experience that many of the burdens on us are things we have laid on ourselves due to expectations of American culture, our workplace, or others around us.  If you will just come to a place where you realize how weak you are and how unable you are to carry that burden, you are on the path to genuine healing from the Lord Himself.  He is mighty and He is powerful and He knows all things.  But He does not usually assert himself on someone who doesn't want help or outright refuses it.  He will allow us to discover our need for Him and then, only then, will He come to the rescue.

I came down the mountain that day on a road to being healed from a cynical attitude.  Had you been with me on that day you would not have heard a voice from the clouds, and you wouldn't have seen someone who looks like a person but had the appearance of lightning.  Even so, I know that the Lord was there in that moment, and He will do the same for you if you will just stop and take the time to talk and listen to Him.

A church planter here once advised me to have a quiet place I can run to in the tough times to go be with the Lord.  I think that advice rings true for all of us.  You also need a quiet place to go and be with the Lord and to hear from the Healer and the lover of your soul.  So if you find yourself in the middle of a busy time and feel as though your life is being choked off, or that you are drowning in all that you have to do, take some time to go be alone with the Lord.  Get to know Him in those moments.  You will find a God who won't condemn you, drive you further into the ground, or further hurt you.  He is the one about whom it is said "will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle (Isaiah 42:3).  To the weak reed and flickering candles out there, go to him to be restored!

Psalm 46:10New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁰ “Be still, and know that I am God!
    I will be honored by every nation.
    I will be honored throughout the world.”

 

Not to Brag

Recently I was working out in the morning to prepare for another long day, and on this particular day I was on the Stairmaster.  Over time I have developed a love-hate relationship with it.  It does a great job of preparing me for the hiking season, and it develops aches and pains in me that make me want to never get on it again.  On this particular day the machine informed me at the end of my workout that I had climbed to the top of the CN tower in Toronto, Canada and asked me to input my initials as a record of my achievement.

I dutifully typed PAE and hit enter.  Now that's an achievement!  My initials then appeared on the screen below a couple of psychopaths who had climbed over 400 floors that week.

Then it hit me.  Why was I doing this?  Was anyone really going to look at this and go, "wow, whoever PAE is...he's got it together.  Man, strong work in doing 204 floors.  Wish I could do that!  What a man!"  Nope, nobody's going to do that.  In fact, the record gets erased every week, so to maintain my "standing" I'll need to come back weekly in the hope that I can limp my way to the top of another tower and type my initials in once again for the world to see.  Completely pointless.

Yet isn't this the very thing you and I do with our everyday lives?  For most this happens through our careers, but it isn't always there.  You might have to develop a presentation and deliver it to the higher ups to show them how together your organization or department is.  You might prepare diligently for an upcoming evaluation, putting together binders of information or preparing exactly what you might say when you are being watched.  More charts and graphs to show things are on the up and up because of ME!

Maybe for you it isn't the career that does it.  Your brags come on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pintrest or other social media.  You post things about yourself or your family or things you have made that make it look like everything is perfect and under control and normal, and people applaud you with "likes" or emojicons or something of the like.  And for a few moments you feel good about yourself and the direction of your life, until someone else comes along and takes the spotlight away because their creation is just a bit better than yours.

Still others may do this through things they own.  Perhaps your yard is kept up perfectly in comparison to your neighbors.  Your car is spotless, trees are trimmed, weeds are pulled.  The outside of the house is truly a reflection of what's happening on the inside, right?

While it is human nature to build monuments to ourselves to prove our worth, I find it interesting that God doesn't care for any of that stuff about us.  He sees us for who we are, and chooses to love anyway.  However we tend to treat God as though He does care about that stuff, and it gets in the way of relationship with Him.

In thinking about all of this, I came to some interesting realizations.  I'm not ever going to have to make a presentation to God to show him how great I am.  I won't be pointing to charts and graphs to show how His kingdom expanded under my watchful eye.  I won't have to develop a thick report to show how things were trending when I was here on earth.  I won't ever be able to show him any character traits that I developed on my own that He didn't have a hand in developing in me.  I won't ever be able to ask him if he's considered a different angle to a problem here on earth, because He's already done that.  I won't ever be able to give Him advice, even if I have spent all day on the side of a mountain meditating.  I won't be able to point to a church planting strategy I came up with that worked really well, because if it worked it was because He made it work.  I won't be able to show Him how much money I raised for Kingdom purposes, because it was He who moved people's hearts to give.  I won't be able to point to the number of souls I've saved, because I don't save souls and draw people to God.  He does that.  I'm not going to be able to tell him about how many times I've moved to benefit Kingdom work, because it was He who planted the idea in the first place.

It seems that God doesn't have a wall of fame that I can type the letters "PAE" on.  Huh.

The Apostle Paul said it this way:

1 Corinthians 1:26-31New Living Translation (NLT)

²⁶ Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy^[a] when God called you. ²⁷ Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. ²⁸ God chose things despised by the world,^[b] things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. ²⁹ As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God.
³⁰ God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin. ³¹ Therefore, as the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the Lord.”<sup>[c]

What this reminds me of is the fact that there is absolutely NO BOASTING around the Lord.  It won't happen.  It can't happen.  And I'll go further than that.  It is the people who aren't able to boast, the people who aren't quite strong enough, smart enough, faithful enough, knowledgeable enough, rich enough or powerful enough, it is those people that are used to the greatest effect in God's Kingdom.  It is those who aren't positioned well within the organization who have the most power and influence for Him.  It is those who may not have the "right words" or aren't well spoken, those who are poor or even destitute, or without a graphic to show their strategy.  It is these that the Lord works most powerfully through.

Why is it this way?  Because God made it that way.  Everything in creation points to Him.  That should include your life that is here today and gone tomorrow.  Your life isn't supposed to point to you, and if it does, it's pointing in the wrong direction.  You were created to be in relationship with God, to enjoy that relationship, and to point back to Him in all you say, do, and create.  

So rest easy knowing that you don't have to prepare anything to show God your worth.  He already knows it.  You aren't worth much and He doesn't actually need you for anything.  Yet in spite of that, He loves you deeply and wants you to live in relationship with Himself.  And in that, in your weakness and lack of preparedness and faults, He will take you further than you'd ever imagined, for His name's sake.</sup>  

Everything in creation points to the Lord.  Can you really say that the Space Needle is a more awesome creation than what is shown in this picture?

 

The Terminal Illness, Part II

Look to a man in the midst of doubt and danger and you will learn in his hour of adversity what he really is
. . . the mask is torn off and reality remains.
—Lucretius, Roman philosopher

In my last post I attempted to make the point that God is on a mission in each of our lives.  He is for us at all moments in all places for all time.  In this post we are going to explore some of the unexpected implications for that, particularly when it comes to suffering and hardship.

While I was in India last month, I would go to the roof of our hotel in the morning to pray for the country, for the city, for its people, and for myself.  One morning I had a great sense that the Lord wants to take me to another level with Himself and that I've been resisting that work in me.  So, I prayed a very dangerous prayer that He has been quite faithful to answer of late.  I prayed that, if there are things He wants to rework in me and if the only way to change those things is through suffering, then Lord, make me suffer and to learn through it.

My prayer spot on the roof of our hotel in India.

Since then, I have experienced nothing but trials.  These have occurred at home, at work, through our church, and just in general.  It is through the flames of our trials that our true self is revealed, and what is being revealed isn't pretty.  Unfortunately my tendency too often is to try to fix things on my own or pull away from the Lord in my anxiety, but what He really wants in those times is for me to run to His arms for my peace.

1 Peter 4:12-13

¹² Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. ¹³ Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.

Nobody enjoys looking weak or uncertain, and we especially don't like being exposed as who we really are in front of others.  I have discovered in life that much of what you and I see in each other each day is a mask.  We present to each other what we want other people to see, not necessarily a true picture of who we are.  I realized this years ago after spending my whole life in what you'd call church culture.  Many people who regularly attend church show a put-together and presentable side every Sunday, and the rest of the week they look and act like different people.  I have been part of that masquerade as well.

Yet God sees through any mask we may put up to others.  He's not deceived by our attempts to look like we have it all together, nor is he misled by what we say about ourselves to others.  He sees us as who we are and is not satisfied to leave us in that state.

So what is God's purpose for your life?  For my life?  When I ask people that question, even to this day I get a response of "I don't know" or "I'm still trying to find that out."  That indicates that we are looking for purpose in actions rather than purpose in being reborn.  For example, some are on the lookout for if the Lord will send them into an overseas mission field as their purpose.  Others seek purpose in the work that the Lord has them do, and are trying to find that one place where everything fits like a glove.  Still others look for purpose in finding the right person to marry.

I would submit to you that God's purpose for your life is to make you more like Himself, and that comes by knowing Him better and better.  And He's going to spend your entire life trying to get you to that point.  Like I had quoted in the last post, God is more interested in who you are becoming than he is in what you are doing.

The Apostle Paul said it this way in Romans 8:35-37:

³⁵ Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? ³⁶ (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”^[a]) ³⁷ No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

When we experience difficulties in life, we tend to doubt God first or assume that the circumstances are going against what He wants for our life.  Surely God wouldn't want trouble and difficulties for us!  But what if He does?  What if by introducing difficulties into your life He is making you into a new man or woman?

If we accept the passage above at face value, difficult times in our lives are NOT an indicator that God is absent or that we are being punished.  They also are not an indicator that we are separated from the love of Jesus.  In fact, Paul goes so far as to say that we are loved in spite of these things being in our lives.  How is it that a loving God could allow trials and difficulties?

If you will accept that (a) you and I have the terminal illness of sin which will lead to our eventual death and that (b) God isn't satisfied to leave us in that state, you are starting to get the picture.  The pathway to being miraculously healed is one of trial and pain.  The way to life is via death.

What??

What are you like when the pressure in your life increases from just a warming to the point where things are about to boil over?  For me, I get impatient and irritable with those around me and tend to withdraw from others.  I become overcome with worry and let it keep me up at all hours, which further isolates me from others.  It's easier to hide so that the masquerade can continue.  But my actions in being irritable and overcome with worry are sinful.  Why?  Because in being irritable I'm not loving others as I love myself (important command number 2 from Jesus), and in worrying I'm idolizing myself because I think that by worrying I can solve my own problems rather than going to the Lord with it.

God isn't satisfied with the way you and I act in those moments.  That's because His desire is that His glory shine through us at all moments with all people for all time.  As C.S. Lewis so aptly put it, we aren't here to be nice people.  We're supposed to be new men.  That means we should be different from the rest of the world.

So how do you train a person who becomes withdrawn, irritable, and worried during difficult times to be more like Jesus in those moments?  You give them more trials and more difficulties so that they HAVE to run to Jesus for strength during those moments.  Only in times like those will Christ shine in your life so brightly that others take notice.  It isn't in the easy times that Jesus looks like an interesting leader to follow.  It's in the hard times, when you endure under trial, persecution, difficulty, calamity, and disaster, and yet you still are able to praise God for who He is.  That, friends, is enticing because the world doesn't have anything like that.

James 1:2-3

² Dear brothers and sisters,^[a] when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. ³ For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. ⁴ So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

You and I have a choice to make each day in whether we will accept the trials and difficulties that the Lord brings our way and let Him shine in those moments, or whether we won't.  However, God's purpose in all of these things is to bring you closer to Himself.  He is on a mission to remake you that will take the rest of your life.  He loves you so much that He'd do that in your life, not as a thing to frustrate you but instead because He knows what is good for you.  And in the midst of these things, you are able to shine brightly for Him without even knowing it, because in His grace he is doing a work in you that everyone around you can see.

 

Matthew 5:14-16New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁴ “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.

The Terminal Illness, Part I

A recent view of Puget Sound from Everett during low tide.  The Olympic Mountains can be seen in the distance.

God is for you.  Sometimes you and I need to repeat that phrase over and over again, not because it isn't true, but because we don't always believe it is true.

I recently read a quote that I think really gets to the heart of the matter.

God is more concerned about who I'm becoming that about what I'm doing. 

If you really take that bit of wisdom to heart, it will change the way you see your walk with the Lord.  But this isn't just something that was made up and sounds correct.  It is a theme supported by the entirety of the Bible.

You and I all are terminally ill with a deadly disease.  This disease has infected every single cell in our bodies.  It has permeated every muscle, joint, organ, appendage, and nerve.  Without proper medical attention for this disease, you and I will die.  God knows this and has a plan to eradicate this disease from our bodies once and for all time.  However, the way to get rid of it takes time and is a hard path to go down.  The disease I refer to, of course, is sin.

Our problem is that we make light of our own complete and utter hopelessness without the help that Jesus provided.  We think that if our bank accounts have a certain amount in them, we are safe from harm and are "blessed."  We think that if we can get that certain job or position, our lives will smooth out and we can "relax."  We think that if we can find a certain neighborhood to live in, our stress level will go down and things will improve.  Some of us think that if we can find a way to serve in the community more often or with greater things that we will achieve a higher moral state.  Perhaps if we would just take it easy more often our lives will be better and we will be more adjusted.  Yet none of these things have the power to cure our disease.  In fact, some of these things are an outward symptom of the disease and its spread, and we feed into it in the same way that a cancer patient can feed the disease by eating more carbohydrates.

The Lord knows that our real problem, our only problem, the disease we will die from, is sin.  We can't ever be free of it's grip as long as we are here on Earth.  It shows itself in our lives every single day in spite of our best efforts.  Doing good deeds won't cure it.  Building up wealth will not make it disappear.  Attending church will have no effect on its own in making it lessen or go away.  More rest will not help our bodies to fight it more effectively.  It is here to stay.

Our only hope lies in what Jesus did more than 2,000 years ago, long before you and I even had a chance to know Him.  He chose us before we chose him, and He did it because He knew we were utterly hopeless without the help that only He could provide.  He knew that our actions in life to make things right with God wouldn't actually fix the problem (see his interactions with the Pharisees) so He took the only action that would matter in sacrificing Himself on our behalf.

In Romans 8:31-34, the Apostle Paul says this about our condition:

³¹ What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? ³² Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? ³³ Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. ³⁴ Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

The best indicator you and I have that God is for us is by seeing what He did to address our greatest need.  He gave himself up for us, and because of that He is for us.

According to the Apostle Paul, the only indicator of God being for us, and the only one of importance, is that he made and completed a plan to eradicate the effects of this disease from us forever and ever.  We as humans tend to go back to our set of earthly problems though.  We usually say it like this:

• My life isn't as smooth as it should be.  God must be absent.
• I lost (fill in the blank) to death.  I am alone and God is silent.
• Lost my job last week and have no prospect for anything new.  God doesn't care.
• We weren't able to get that (house, car, job, tangible thing) that we wanted.  God knew I wanted that and didn't deliver, so He must be upset with me.

We say these things because we have no understanding of what our greatest need is.  The greatest need you and I have isn't comfort, and the Lord knows that.  In fact, I'd argue that He's not particularly interested in your comfort at all.  The American Church has a very hard time with that concept because our society is so wrapped up in getting comfort for ourselves, but that's a path that actually takes the person further and further from the Lord.  Our greatest need is to be saved from our own sin because there is literally nothing we can do about it on our own.  Someone else, someone perfect, has to intervene on our behalf. 

And intervene He did!  If I take that Romans passage literally, I see a picture of Jesus who not only died for me, but who rose from the dead and sits at the right hand of the Father.  The right hand of a king is the special spot reserved for advisors with special wisdom and influence.  I picture Jesus sitting next to the Father right at this moment, speaking to him about...me.  

"See your servant Paul down there?  I know he was just impatient with his kids.  I'm covering that."

"I know he is distracted and is building his own kingdom at this moment.  I'm covering that too, and will deal with him.  I will show him the new direction he must take."

I'm sure this account of what happens in Heaven doesn't in any way do it justice.  I'll never completely understand how Jesus, the Father, and the Holy Spirit are all part of the same being.  Yet it brings me great comfort that someone up there, someone with supreme influence and authority, is intervening on my behalf.  And it's being done only because He chooses to do it, not by my own merit or activities.  That takes the pressure off me, but even more than that it reminds me of just how much I am loved.

But I am not special.  These things are offered to anyone who will just believe and follow.  When it comes to God's Kingdom, you and I are equals if we will just believe. 

In the next post, we're going to delve into this further, closely examining the reason behind difficulties in our lives.  God has a purpose in those too. 

What God Really Wants for You

 

I love the lamppost that is in our front yard.  The previous owner of our house was British and claims to have brought it over from London at one time.  Apparently it originally lit some street in that great city, probably for many years.

When I see the lamppost it always reminds me of one of my favorite book series, of course by C.S. Lewis, which we now call the Chronicles of Narnia.  In the second book, we are taken into England during World War II when a group of children are sent into the country to flee the German bombing of London and wind up staying in a large old house.  In this house is a wardrobe, and in the wardrobe are a bunch of coats hanging up where they have been for many years.  But during a game of hide and seek, one of the children pushes her way back to the back of the wardrobe only to find that the hanging coats end and she suddenly touches snow-covered tree branches.  She steps out into another world full of strange creatures, forces of good and evil, and a solitary lamppost in the woods.

After convincing her siblings to come with her into this world, they are involved for quite a number of years in freeing this land, Narnia, from the evil witch that has ruled the land for many years and who has maintained winter during her entire reign.  In the end, these 4 children become kings and queens in Narnia and are able to rule through adolescence and into adulthood.  That whole time, the lamppost remained alone in the woods, burning brightly and marking the place where they entered the new land.

In the end, the children, now adults, are on a hunt one day and come across the lamppost that they had forgotten about.  They find themselves clawing their way through a thick stand of brush only to discover that they are now touching coats, and finally they push their way out of an old wardrobe into the same room that they had left seemingly long ago.  However, they quickly find that they are children again and that no time has passed since they left.

To me, our lamppost is a reminder of what the Lord can do in anyone's life.  Like the children, we were going through life doing our own thing only to be enticed into a space that we had never been before, then to discover that it led to a land that we could never imagine.  Like in the story, our lamppost marks the place where God had us land in this new place.  It also is a reminder that, like the children, we may at some point go past the lamppost one last time and be taken somewhere else.  God is allowed to do that, you know.

I'm not saying that I think we will go back to Texas at some point.  I really don't believe that.  For whatever reason, our life there seems to be over, although I know enough now to not state anything about my life with absolute certainty.  I really don't even know what the next hour of my life will be like, so how could I even talk about a distant future?  What I am trying to say is that the Lord might, just might, continue this journey that he's taking us on into a new and different place.

Now, let's return to the original questions.

Why does the Lord ask us to do things?

Why and under what line of reasoning should you and I say yes to what the Lord wants us to do?

To find some answers, we of course have to examine what the Bible has to say about it.

Why did God ask Abram to move his family to a new land?
Why did God ask Abram to sacrifice his son, the one promised to him for about 30 years, on an altar?
Why did God chose Moses, Gideon, Sampson, and David to lead His people?  All were deeply flawed.
Why chose Saul to help establish God's Kingdom after Jesus left the earth?  This guy was a murderer and a zealot.

You and I tend to focus only on the results.  Didn't Saul/ Paul have great leadership capability and zeal?  Sure he did, and he was a good choice for the work.  Didn't David show amazing devotion to the Lord?  Without question.  God Himself even said that David's heart was "one after his own."  Didn't Gideon turn out to be a fantastic military leader.  He was.  Wasn't Sampson a natural leader in his own right?  He was.  Look at all of the people who followed him.  Wasn't Moses humble, and didn't he keenly listen to what the Lord told him?  He did, probably better than most people who have ever lived.

But if you and I stop there, we've missed the whole point.  God doesn't use people because He needs their skill set.  God doesn't actually need you and I at all.  His Kingdom doesn't unravel if someone doesn't do what He says, and He doesn't wring his hands expectantly when you and I are considering whether we will obey or not.  If we make a mistake, a building doesn't crumble in the Heavenly realm, and it doesn't set back the plans for 100 years.

The reason why God does things in you and me, and the reason why He asks you to do things for Him, is...are you ready for this?  Because He wants to be in your life, and wants you to know Him for who He is.

Think about it.  Yes, Moses was used in the single greatest event in the history of Israel, the event that the Lord himself referred back to in the rest of the Bible over and over again. But look at how close Moses got to the Lord during that time.  He spoke to God in a conversational style, in burning bushes, on mountains, in the wilderness.  He got to do that all of the time, and became so close to the Lord that it says that when he died, the Lord himself buried him in a secret place in the mountains.

Look at Gideon.  He was a coward who was hiding from the invading army of people until God gave him a task to fulfill.  He lead armies, and he led a few people who conquered an army of several hundred thousand.  Over that time, Gideon learned to know the Lord and to trust Him with bigger and bigger things.

Look at Saul/ Paul.  The Lord completely turned this guy's life around.  He learned who God really is, learned about His purpose for the world, and followed that path down a road of hardship and pain.  And in the end he was probably one of the most joyful people who ever lived in spite all of the hardship because he knew the Lord so intimately.

You can say the same thing about Abram/ Abraham.  The Lord took him through successively greater tasks and accomplished a much greater purpose for millions of people in the life of this one guy.  But what Abraham would tell you is that he learned to know the Lord during that time.  He didn't even get to experience the end result of God's plan for His people because he died before it came to pass.  But he did get closer to the Lord and in the end was referred to as "God's friend."

My life has so far been patterned after that of Abraham, and that isn't lost on me.  Would God lead me to the Northwest just because He wanted to see if I would do it?  Yes He would.  And He would do it because He has more of Himself for me to discover later.  The first step on a life of obedience to the Lord is obedience right now.  And in just the sheer act of moving here, I'm a lot closer to the Lord than I was several years ago.  Yet I still have far to go with Him.

Be assured that whatever the Lord wants you to do now is more about His relationship with you than it is about what you will accomplish.  What He wants more than anything else is for you to know Him.  You and I have a hard time believing that, but it is true.  He doesn't need you.  Instead, He wants you.  You didn't choose him first.  He chose you first.  You didn't die for Him first.  He died for you first.

Hopefully as you hear the still, small voice of the Lord speaking into your life, you will listen and be curious about Him.  You hopefully will choose to follow simply because the King asked you to follow, not because of the task.  That's what He wants from you and me.  He is on a mission in this world and chooses to invite us to participate in that mission here, but the benefit isn't the number of people who are saved, the good works done, the people loved, or the brokenness healed.  Those things are all beautiful and wonderful, but they can't be pursued as a goal or an end.  No, the benefit in getting to participate in these things is in getting to know the Lord Himself, and that is what He ultimately wants to do in you.