Wrestling with God

Sunset in Everett.  We continue to have an abnormally warm spring and this bright thing keeps coming out often in the sky.  We still haven't identified it.

Genesis 32

²² During the night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two servant wives, and his eleven sons and crossed the Jabbok River with them. ²³ After taking them to the other side, he sent over all his possessions.

²⁴ This left Jacob all alone in the camp, and a man came and wrestled with him until the dawn began to break. ²⁵ When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket. ²⁶ Then the man said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!”

When I was in high school, I had a one-year stint as a wrestler for our school, and it still ranks high on my list of most fun things I have ever done.  I prided myself in strength which usually made up for lack of skill, and when facing other opponents who lacked skill I could usually win.

It seems that in my recent times I have discovered one whom I can’t win against.  I’ve been wrestling with God himself.

In reading our story on this blog you’ve seen various points where I seem to be thrown into confusion asking what I should be doing right now.  It is possible that this mindset doesn’t make sense to some of you.  I can only explain it by saying this:  when you know you’ve been called out of your former life to a place over 2,000 miles from home, and you’ve heard the Lord’s voice telling you to go, once you are in that place and little is happening, the natural question to ask is “what’s next?”  I have gone through periods acting as though I was working for yet another boss who had made demands of me, and I was desperately trying to figure out the nature of this Boss so I could please him.  I’ve even made seemingly pious statements like “I want God to be my boss instead of following the world’s ways.”  But even in making a statement like that, I show two things:  I’m still following the world’s ways, and I don’t fully understand this God and His ways.

In my zeal to do something I’ve tried many ways to connect with the men in our community.  We’ve started a men’s Bible study and I’ve been really trying to spend time with other guys to gauge interest in discipleship.  What I have experienced is rampant frustration.  One by one each of the doors was closed in my face, and in the end I was unable to spend any meaningful time with any of them.  So God, what now?  Time is slipping by and I feel like I’m missing something!  What am I missing?

It turns out I was missing God Himself.  I felt a sense one day from the Lord to just go out on the street during my lunch break and bring nothing but my Bible.

I found a place to sit on a retaining wall near the Everett Transit Center.  A lot of people walk by there on their way to a bus, train, or something else.  Many who pass by are homeless.  After I was situated I opened my Bible and read from Matthew 22:1-14, which has always been a confusing parable to me.

Matthew 22

 Jesus also told them other parables. He said, ² “The Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a king who prepared a great wedding feast for his son. ³ When the banquet was ready, he sent his servants to notify those who were invited. But they all refused to come!

⁴ “So he sent other servants to tell them, ‘The feast has been prepared. The bulls and fattened cattle have been killed, and everything is ready. Come to the banquet!’ ⁵ But the guests he had invited ignored them and went their own way, one to his farm, another to his business. ⁶ Others seized his messengers and insulted them and killed them.

⁷ “The king was furious, and he sent out his army to destroy the murderers and burn their town. ⁸ And he said to his servants, ‘The wedding feast is ready, and the guests I invited aren’t worthy of the honor. ⁹ Now go out to the street corners and invite everyone you see.’ ¹⁰ So the servants brought in everyone they could find, good and bad alike, and the banquet hall was filled with guests.
¹¹ “But when the king came in to meet the guests, he noticed a man who wasn’t wearing the proper clothes for a wedding. ¹² ‘Friend,’ he asked, ‘how is it that you are here without wedding clothes?’ But the man had no reply. ¹³ Then the king said to his aides, ‘Bind his hands and feet and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’’

These questions came to mind as I read:

·      Who were the servants in the story?

·      What were the qualifications for being invited to the banquet?

I quickly came to the realization that the servants in the story are all believers!  This has great implications which I’ll get to.

Second, the qualifications for being invited to the banquet were…that the person was seen.  Go invite everyone you see, the king said. 

Everyone. 
The poor.
The rich.
The good.
The bad. 
The idolaters?  Yes.  Gluttons?  Yes.  Drug abusers?  Yes.  Those who are sexually immoral?  Yes.

And did you notice that it said both the good and the bad were in the banquet hall, and all were wearing the wedding clothes!  People didn’t get to the banquet because they performed a magical set of actions that pleased the king.  They got there because the king chose them first and they accepted the invite.  And where did they pick up the wedding clothes while they were being rushed off to the banquet?  You guessed it.  The king gave them the clothes too.  They just had to dress in the king's clothing and show up.

The verse I zeroed in on was vs 9 “Now go out to the street corners and invite everyone you see.”  I just read it over and over and over again.

When I finally looked up, I saw a guy walk past me, but the thing that stuck out to me was his shirt.  While it is difficult to make out in the picture, he had a logo on the back that is very similar to the logo of Purpose Church.  I really couldn’t believe my eyes.  I didn’t run after this guy and start talking to him.  Instead I felt the Lord reminding me that here, right here, is an example of how I need to be looking at things.  I need to focus my attention on inviting everyone I see to the banquet, which is coming to know the King of Kings and live in relationship with Him forever.  That’s the task here, and that’s the task everywhere.  That’s the task of believers.  I am to invite whether I am around 1,000 people or whether I only see and speak to 2.

What I have to remember, and this part is admittedly hard, is that just because I invite doesn’t mean that people will accept the invitation.  Many will go to their jobs instead because they are trying to build a personal kingdom.  Many will go to something else, to another idol, to drugs and alcohol, to riches instead of accepting the free invitation to this kingdom that isn’t of the world.  I can’t take it personally because, as Jesus said, “they aren’t rejecting you, they are rejecting me.”

The good news for me and for those of you who also find yourselves in the desert is that you are not alone.  You are there because God is there, and He wants you and wants you to know Him more.  Embrace the silence and the solitude of it and listen for His voice.  He is there and has been there all along.  There is nothing you need to do or say.  Just run to Him.

Who have you invited to the banquet lately?  They are out there on the street corners and living next door to you.  They are at work with you and in the parks and at the gym you work out in.  Will you work to usher them into the banquet hall?