Our Gentiles

 A spider web covered in water droplets in downtown Everett.  It seems everything is covered in water these days...

Maybe I don’t have the strength
Maybe I don’t have the faith
You brought me here in 40 years
I know this trip should take a week
I’ve shed my tears and shed my blood
Been held ransom by the flood
The winter steals my songs away
In all of this I come undone

"You are Mine"  Enter the Worship Circle.  Chair and Microphone.

Recently I found myself asking the Lord who my Gentiles are.  If you aren't familiar with the Bible, this may not make a lot of sense to you.  The Apostle Paul determined after a period of his ministry that he had been sent to proclaim Jesus to the Gentiles instead of the Jews.

I have wrestled with this idea since moving to Everett.  Who was I sent to proclaim Jesus to?  Initially I believed that our ministry might be directly working with the homeless, but the Lord repeatedly showed me that this was not the case.  Is it people who are at their lowest point in life, drug or alcohol addicted and in despair?  There have been cases of working with such as these, but that door also has not flung open like I would have expected.  So who are our Gentiles?

Really this was a dumb question to ask, and sometimes I think the Father must quietly chuckle at my hard-headedness and blindness.  I have come to realize over the last 2 weeks that our Gentiles are kids.  In the midst of my wandering and questioning about who we are here to minister to, I often was wandering through a room full of noisy kids.  I kept thinking, "if it weren't for all of this noise I could actually think this thing through!"  And right in front of my nose our Gentiles were there waiting.

We were told yesterday that our home being a magnet for kids in the Pacific Northwest is an unusual thing.  I had no idea.  We regularly have 6-8 kids in our house when I get home from work, and sometimes 10.  Yes 5 of them are mine, but the other 5 are not, and they come from some very diverse and sometimes broken backgrounds.  So here the Lord has delivered a group of people to us who need Jesus, and for a time I have just ignored it.

Now that I know who our Gentiles are, I have discovered that I needed an attitude adjustment toward them.  My patience is frequently tested by these guys, but what they want is time with me!  They want to play and be rough and hurt each other (and particularly hurt me!) and laugh and scream.  So the Lord's response on my dangerous prayer for patience has been immediate.  Now when I come home I have at least one extra kid every day, and at least 1 extra kid to feed dinner to.  That may not be a big deal to you but it is a very big deal to me.  Many times I just want to come home and have a little peace and quiet.  Many times I want to look at our budget and proclaim that we can't keep feeding everyone who comes to our house.  But while I know I could control it and make immediate changes, I'm also aware by the Spirit of the Lord that I'm not supposed to do that.

And here is a great example of why spouses are important.  Amanda fills those gaps I have in patience, in hospitality, and in sensitivity.  Yes, I fill gaps she has too.  Filled gaps make for a good marriage.  I have her back and she has mine big-time.

Plans for the Gentiles

Next month we plan to begin an after-school ministry once per week at the boy's elementary school.  We'll play games with the kids that show up, do a little teaching about Jesus, play some more games and pray together.  I have heard that last year the PE coach agreed to be available after school with some games and balls and about 100 kids showed up to play.  God is doing something exciting here with kids, so we're going to join in the fray and just embrace it!

Our long-term goal will be to access the parents through the kids.  This will require long-term relationship building with the kids and the parents, but this kind of thing has been successful in the past.  But let's face it:  if the Lord isn't in it we won't have any level of success, and that has been a prayer of ours.  Please join us in praying that God would make His name great through this new activity!

Do Not Be Discouraged

 This was a picture I took on one of my recent morning runs.  It is largely symbolic of our experience in Everett.  Darkness almost everywhere with some bright lights to light the way through the fog.

If you've followed this blog for any length of time you know that my own emotions have ebbed and flowed since moving here.  I've tried to be transparent on this for two reasons.  First I want the Lord to be glorified in what changes He's making to me.  Second, some of you may be walking through life with similar struggles and maybe these stories will speak to you.  The Lord can use a donkey to speak truth, so he can use me and this blog too!

My ongoing struggle as a new church planter is with all of the voices in my ear telling me what they think I need to do.  All of them are well-meaning and many of them speak from experience.  Some ask good questions that I have too, and some voice opinions regarding our next steps.  While I like listening to what others think and do believe the Lord can speak through them, I have found a very disconcerting pattern recently in that many of the voices have introduced confusion and dismay for me and Amanda.

Here are some of the questions and comments we have entertained in the last month:

• Seems strange to plant a church right here.  There are a bunch of other churches around you!
• Have you ever considered going on staff with another church rather than starting a new one?
• You're going to need a coach to help you clarify your vision.
• You don't need a coach to clarify your vision.  The Lord can do that for you.
• You need funding.
• You don't need funding.
• You should really reconsider being full-time in ministry.  Where will your time come from?
• You should be bivocational.  That's the only way this thing will work financially.
• Why leave EFC?  Isn't God doing things there too?
• Didn't you say you'd be doing things with the homeless? 

Over time these well-meaning questions have really started to get to me.  It isn't that I'm upset with the people who ask them.  In fact, I've asked myself these very same things and can give a semi-coherent answer to each one of them.   I think many of them are asked so that I can clarify in my own mind what the Lord is telling me.  However, at the same time I also know that we face an enemy who would love nothing more than to introduce confusion, delay, frustration, and despair.  The pattern I'm noticing seems to fit that mold.

I found myself in one of those extended down periods this week where I question why we are here.  I'm supposed to have the answers and sometimes I don't!  I'm supposed to be a leader who has a crystal clear vision and a slick advertisement for it that I can speak to, but I don't!  Therefore, I must be a failed leader altogether.

Thankfully we have a God who can reach through the fog of our hearts, a God who sees us for who we are and who we are going to be.  We have a God who cares deeply for our very souls and wants us to follow Him on paths that don't make sense to the world and paths that are narrow and obscured by thorns and briars.

During my quiet time I tend to read passages from 2-3 separate books of the Bible and look for patterns.  In the patterns and repetition the Lord tends to speak.  Here's what God told me during quiet time earlier this week.  See if you can see the pattern that I did.

 Joshua 1

⁶ “Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. ⁷ Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. ⁸ Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. ⁹ This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Isaiah 41

⁸ “But as for you, Israel my servant,
    Jacob my chosen one,
    descended from Abraham my friend,
⁹ I have called you back from the ends of the earth,
    saying, ‘You are my servant.’
For I have chosen you
    and will not throw you away.
¹⁰ Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
    Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Did you see it?  "Do not be discouraged.  I am with you."

He didn't tell me it would be easy, or that we'd be massively successful, or that leaders would catch the vision and join us, or that we'd have much rest, or that the Pacific Northwest would finally turn to the Lord for good.  What He did say is that His presence would be there with me, and that He's here now.  This is the Leader I follow.  This is the God I love, but with love that He gave me first...by His choice!

The enemy sometimes whispers in my ear that I'm no good and can't do it.  I sometimes believe that the Lord is angry with me or that I've disappointed Him long-term and don't get it.  In those times, if I will just stop and listen, I'll hear that voice encouraging me on, telling me that I am loved and valued and cherished.  I look up in the darkness to see that bright light shining on the path and hear the voice saying once again "go this way!"  This God doesn't lead people to dead-ends, and He doesn't stop loving.  Ever.   

When you look at us you will see many things that don't make sense.

No seminary training or professional ministry experience.

Living in a neighborhood with other churches meeting in our area.

Offers of employment at local churches turned down only because I sensed it wasn't the way to go.

Moving here without a plan other than to say God led us here.

Moving here without a place to live initially.

Picking a community to live in based upon the job that is offered to me.

No leadership team that moved here with us.

Leaving a church here that has a strengthening ministry just because we sense something more ahead in our neighborhood.

But then I realize God has a pattern of doing things that don't make a lot of sense to we humans:

• Asking his "friend" Abraham to sacrifice his son, the very son that He had promised to him for many years.
• The Savior being born to a virgin.
• God calling and using Gideon, a coward who was in hiding, to be his instrument for delivering freedom to Israel.
• Delivering Israel from the Egyptians by having them walk through the parted waters of the Red Sea.
• Taking one of the greatest threats to Christianity (Paul) and repurposing him to proclaim the Gospel to the Gentile world.
• Taking the expected King who would set us all free and usher in a new kingdom and killing Him.

I could list these things endlessly today but it isn't necessary.  Read what the Bible says and you'll see the pattern:  the Lord's ways don't make sense to man.  Strangely this brings comfort to me because we are on a path that absolutely makes no sense.  Could it be that this is in fact the path that the Lord wants us on?  I think the answer is yes.

If you are down as I have been, searching for meaning and answers from the Lord, my prayer for you today is that you will be encouraged and find the Lord in the midst of it all.