What God Does with Thankfulness

The San Juan Islands viewed looking west toward Victoria, British Columbia.

The Christian life is a difficult life.  It's full of things that are good, and it also is full of things that are not so good.  Anyone who tells you that your life will be vastly more positive when you become a Christian isn't telling the truth.  Often churches will blame the evil one for that work, and sometimes it is because when we align with the Cross, we suddenly get a target on our backs.  But sometimes the trouble can come from the Lord Himself, not because He's trying to get us, but because He's trying to make us more like Himself.  That requires radical surgery to extract the sin from every part of our bodies, and radical surgery is painful.  Recovery takes a long time too.

Lately I've had a very personal battle that parents of adopted kids can all relate to.  We've been dealing with the poor behavior of our adopted kids over and over and over again.  Amanda and I over the years have learned to adapt our disciplinary approach to fit the needs of each kid, so we spend a lot of time teaching good behavior and what that looks like.  Yet in spite of almost 5 years of doing that, we still deal with much of the same misbehavior of these three boys.  It is frustrating to say the least, and in the worst moments it is absolutely baffling.  When you are dealing with someone who knows what they should be doing but who chooses not to do it, it can produce one of many "lose it" moments for a parent.

Saturday I dealt with some of this behavior early in the morning and I let it set the tone for the day.  I usually am someone who is slow to anger, and sometimes slow to cool off, but yesterday I became very angry early on and it endured for the entire day.  The thing I just kept coming back to is that simple idea that the boys know what to do and just won't do it.  I was baffled, dismayed, frustrated, and at the end of my rope.  In one of my two profound monologues to the boys, I told them that I felt that they have spent 5 years taking from me and Amanda and not giving back to anyone.  I told them that there are times where I question whether they care about anyone else in the family.  That honesty, while harsh and direct, is truth that adoptive families can relate to.  Children coming from deep hurt respond in selfishness because they are the only ones that will look out for themselves.

I found myself praying at times during the day and being very honest with the Lord about how I felt.  I've gone through too many years of life thinking that I'd hide my feelings from God as I pray, which is absolute silliness.  He created my physical and spiritual nature, so he surely knows what I'm thinking at any moment in time.  I'm learning to pray honesty during those moments.

Sunday morning I went to the Lord when I woke up and reflected on the relationship He has developed with me.  In the middle of that, I came to Psalm 50.

 ¹⁴ Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God,
    and keep the vows you made to the Most High.
¹⁵ Then call on me when you are in trouble,
    and I will rescue you,
    and you will give me glory.”

I thought the psalmist's choice of words was interesting.  We should make thankfulness our sacrifice to God.  

You mean my sacrifice isn't giving more money?  No, in fact in the previous verses the Lord reminds us that He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and doesn't need my stuff.  

You mean my sacrifice isn't doing good deeds?  No, He doesn't need my good deeds either.  

You mean my sacrifice isn't in building a new church in the Northwest?  No, He actually doesn't need me to do that work either.  He could appoint anyone to do that work by His Spirit.

So my thankfulness should be my sacrifice to Him.  Why?  That's kind of an odd thing to call a sacrifice.  But thankfulness puts the focus on the Lord and not on me.  For humans, this is a sacrifice because we are all inherently selfish beings due to the sin that has corrupted us.  It's hard to be thankful because it forces us to throw the attention off of self and onto someone that we have absolutely no control over.  It forces us to realize that the meaning of life isn't us at all, and that the universe does not in fact revolve around us.  

To further the point, the Lord develops the thought a little more in verse 15.  

"Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory."  

I read here that trouble is a certainty.  We won't have it all of the time but we will have it and should expect it.  Our calling on Him in trouble turns the focus back to the One that it should be on, Jesus himself.  And in doing that, we are promised rescue from our trouble.  It might be provision to get out of the trouble, or for a situation like mine it might be the grace and the patience to just get through it with a Christlike behavior.  It might be inner peace in the middle of a category 5 hurricane in life.  In the end, the purpose of us calling on Him while in trouble is so that He will rescue us so that we may give Him glory.  That's the thing!  Our trouble produces in us a deeper need for God.  Our deeper need for God makes us turn to Him in our weakness.  Our rescue comes externally from Him, and we in turn can only point to Him as our rescuer.

God's purpose for us is that we might know Him fully.  Our purpose is to bring glory to God.

A view of the Cascade mountains looking east.  In the distance is Glacier Peak, one of the 3 active volcanoes in our area.

As a result of this I spent time that morning writing down everything that I have to be thankful for.  I started with our adventure to the Northwest and all of the things that the Lord provided to get us here.  Never before have I walked so deeply and in trust with Him as I did when we moved.  Our old house hadn't sold, we had no provision for a new house, knew nobody here, and had no real plan.  Yet on day one He provided my closest friend here, a church for us to land in, and a place to stay.  At the time none of it made sense on the surface, which is a hallmark of a situation that requires faith.  The Lord provided.

I also realized how thankful I am for the family I have.  I have a wife perfectly suited to me, am a Dad to boys, and have been given the health and the energy to enjoy all of it.

I also have been given my dream job where I'm allowed to have a Kingdom impact while doing the thing that I love to do and have always dreamed about since entering education.

There's an expansive list of physical comforts the Lord has provided to me.  But it would be wrong to not focus on who the Lord is to me.  He's a best friend in good times and in bad, He cares deeply for us to the point where He prompts people to pray for us at just the right moments.  He has forced me to live at times by faith and not by sight, with the end result being relationship with Himself.  He's the provider of quiet when I need it the most, and the one who speaks to me during those moments.  He is very personal and knows everything about me, and I suspect I have no idea to this day how very personal He is.  He is deeply interested in everything about me, a keen observer, a great Father, and patient instructor.  He is the only one who has never, ever given up on me.  And He never will.

As I reflected on my conversation with the boys this weekend and what I said to them, I quickly was reminded of some fundamental truths about my relationship with the Lord.  Once again, the Lord was teaching me through my children.

• I am adopted into the Lord's family.  He chose me before I chose Him.
• I also have taken from the Lord for years and not been thankful.
• I have looked to my own interests and not thought of the Lord very much.
• I have had many moments when I didn't think of the Lord at all.
• My personal sin has deeply hurt the Lord's heart because it made light of his sacrifice for me.

Since the Lord is my adoptive Father, it seems that the very conversation that I had with the boys could also be had between the Lord and me.  

The difference between him and me is vast.  Yet he is still there teaching, disciplining, and speaking into my life.  That's the God I know.  He is a God who is personal, who desires for me to become more like Him each day, and who actively is working to rid my life of sin.  He never, ever gives up in spite of my stubbornness, and He never will.

Today I offer this sacrifice of thankfulness to my Lord and my God.  This sacrifice for me required time, thought, patience, and deep reflection.  I wasn't able to rush on into the day's activities, or move on to doing something that I wanted to do at the moment.  It was time where I offered praise to the Lord and got to know Him better.  I had to wait and sit at the King's feet.

King David once was offered all of the items that were required for a sacrifice at no cost.  Here's his response, which also should be our response.

²² “Take it, my lord the king, and use it as you wish,” Araunah said to David. “Here are oxen for the burnt offering, and you can use the threshing boards and ox yokes for wood to build a fire on the altar. ²³ I will give it all to you, Your Majesty, and may the Lord your God accept your sacrifice.”
²⁴ But the king replied to Araunah, “No, I insist on buying it, for I will not present burnt offerings to the Lord my God that have cost me nothing.” So David paid him fifty pieces of silver^[f] for the threshing floor and the oxen.

Sacrifices cost something for you just as redemption of your life cost something for Jesus.  

What sacrifice of praise can you offer to the Lord today?  He doesn't need anything from you that He doesn't already have.  He doesn't require your actions to make things happen.  He doesn't need any of the talents that you possess.  This sacrifice of praise is the offering of your very self, your whole self, to the Creator of the Universe.  

What praise do you have to offer up to the Lord today? 

What the Soul Wants

I've been doing a lot of reading lately about the soul.  If you've read much of the Bible, you probably know that it is mentioned in there.  I guess I didn't realize how often it is mentioned.  If you don't believe me, go ahead and go to an online Bible and search for the word "soul."  You might be surprised about how much is said about it.

The soul of mankind seeks to be in relationship with the Lord above all things.  The soul of course is the spiritual side or dimension of all human beings, and it will endure far beyond the point at which the body fails.  The only real issue in this life is where the soul will be in the next life.  That issue in a nutshell is why we are here in the Northwest: to be concerned about where the souls of the people here will be for eternity.

In the book of Isaiah, the prophet said that "we are all infected and impure with sin."  An infection is the result of the rapid spread of something that doesn't belong in the body.  The body has methods to attack and even destroy the invader, but more often than not the body needs a bit of help to rid itself of the infection.  Rest, medicine, and proper nourishment help in healing.  Yet when it comes to healing of sin, we are unable to do it on our own.  That same passage of Isaiah says that "when we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags."  So even the best, most beautiful, most pure and clean deeds we do are equivalent to a pile of dirty rags or a pile of garbage.  Many in this world sit proudly on top of a dump, picking up pieces of trash to brag about them.

Only One can bring healing to the soul when it has been overrun by life, beaten down by the infection of sin, or overwhelmed by the day's activities.  That One is Jesus, the God behind the "still, small voice" which is easily missed when we are in the normal hurry of modern life.  My soul seeks the Savior.  My body seeks busy and selfishness.

I was fortunate last weekend to travel to Friday Harbor on San Juan Island for a retreat with Amanda.  This town is about 2 hours from Everett;  one hour by car and another hour by ferry.  It is a place that ranks highly in my mind as most beautiful of God's creations.  It is an island full of meadows, pristine rocky shoreline, emerald green water that is crystal clear, and wildlife all around that includes Orca whales and sea lions.  To look anywhere around this place is to see the very hand of God, the works of His creation that were spoken into existence long ago.

I spent so much of my time enjoying the quiet solitude.  Some of the best times were simply staring out the hotel window at the harbor, watching ferries dock and depart.  Others were on a whale watching cruise just watching the water go by.  I talked less on this trip than I probably have in a long time, and I think it worried Amanda a little bit, but in the quiet I enjoyed fellowship with the Lord.  Truly for this time my soul found peace and rest dwelling on seemingly little.

I rediscovered during this time that my heart's desire, the desire of my soul, is the Lord Himself.  I often wish He would appear and speak to me directly, telling me which direction to go now, or, explaining what long-term plan will be fulfilled by me enduring a trial I'm going through now.  But so far that has not happened to me.  I don't think it is because I've done something wrong or because the Lord is incapable of this.  Rather I think it is because His desire is for all of me.  All of my surrender of all of myself in all moments at all times.  The only way for that to happen is through prayer, when I withdraw from the world to spend solitude with this God who, for whatever reason, cares to spend time with me.

In these moments while I'm really thinking about it I feel exposed to Him, as though I just walked into a public place with no clothing on!  I get a more keen awareness of the sin that infects me and become sorrowful in those moments of closeness both that I have sinned, and that I'm the type who continues to sin.  I'm infected like everyone else, and this deep-seated infection is rebellion and betrayal against the one who set me free!  And yet, when I bother to stop like I did this weekend, and spend time with the Lord, strangely I find that He is still there waiting on me.  HE doesn't move at all.  It was I, the sheep too stubborn to rest and too slow to perceive the truth, who wandered some distance away from the Great Shepherd.

This great shepherd cares deeply for all of His sheep.  This vine provides nourishment for the branches.  But sheep need proximity to the Shepherd, and branches need connection to the vine.  There is no other way.

My great learning this weekend is that I need to spend more time with my Shepherd.  I cannot be ashamed that I need Him as much as I do.  My body tells me to pray less so I can go get something useful done, but my soul says the only useful thing is time with the Lord.  Quiet time daily with the Lord is important, but a regular quiet day with the Lord is important because of re-connection I do with the Savior.  I need Him not only daily but hourly and even minute by minute.  My very survival depends on Him.

I now see why Jesus didn't spend every waking moment at work.  He didn't spend all of His time with crowds of people.  He also needed time with the Father to have enough to endure his hour by hour and minute by minute walk here on Earth.  The path is too difficult otherwise.

That leads to you.  How much time do you spend in the presence of Jesus?  How often do you go off alone to pray?  I'm not counting time spent at church as part of that because that isn't personal time.  With that in mind, where do you stand with Him, and what will you do about it tomorrow?  Your soul has a hole in it that can only be filled and satisfied by the Lord.  There is no other way.

The Harder Way

 

Port Gardner Bay as viewed from Rucker Hill in Everett.

When it comes to following Jesus, what does a wide open door look like?  As a Christian, what does it look like when you are walking in the direction that the Savior wants you to walk?  What should you experience as you travel down the correct path?

In churches around the country you will hear people talk about an "open door" that has led them to make a decision about their life.  Usually that open door implies that the path was made easy or obvious to them, so they are following it.  It might be the provision of a new job, an easier way to purchase a new house or rent a new apartment.  It sometimes is the path that leads to another city, church, or ministry.  These open doors imply changes in one's life.

However, we have to return to the question about the door itself and the path that lies just beyond it.  What does that look like?

Here's what the Apostle Paul said about it.

1 Corinthians 16:5-9New Living Translation (NLT)

Paul’s Final Instructions

5 I am coming to visit you after I have been to Macedonia,[a] for I am planning to travel through Macedonia. 6 Perhaps I will stay awhile with you, possibly all winter, and then you can send me on my way to my next destination. 7 This time I don’t want to make just a short visit and then go right on. I want to come and stay awhile, if the Lord will let me. 8 In the meantime, I will be staying here at Ephesus until the Festival of Pentecost. 9 There is a wide-open door for a great work here, although many oppose me.

According to Paul, the wide-open door is one that is guarded by the opposition.  To walk through this door will mean pain, discouragement, threats of death, and mental anguish.  How in the world can Paul describe such a thing as an open-door?

First, we have to distinguish between what the American Church perceives as difficulties and persecution versus what Paul was describing as opposition.  Many in the American Church believe persecution and opposition means that they had a bad day.  Someone said something that they didn't like and it put them in a bad mood for the day.  Or, perhaps they didn't get the parking space they wanted, their coffee wasn't ready when they woke up, they have more bills than money, or their car wouldn't start.  Many in the American Church feel that opposition happens when we don't get what we want when we want.  Surely, they say, this is spiritual opposition!

Paul's experience with opposition was quite different than what our insulated society has ever seen.  Here's what he said.

2 Corinthians 11:24-27  I know I sound like a madman, but I have served him far more! I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. 24 Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. 26 I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not.[c] 27 I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.

Why did Paul experience these trials?  It was because he openly followed Jesus and proclaimed that He is the Son of God, and the society around him didn't want to hear that message.  Yet in spite of being beaten repeatedly, stoned, shipwrecked, and deceived by people who claimed to be followers but in fact were not, Paul kept going.  He must have really believed what he taught about Jesus, because otherwise it would have been easy to turn around and go back home.  He had ample opportunities to do so.

"I got beaten again yesterday and barely survived.  God must not be in this thing."

"Yet another false believer has created division in this church and also hurt my feelings.  Since this keeps happening, I must not be going the right way."

"Another shipwreck?  Really??  My body is so tired!  Maybe it's a sign to turn around.  That I'm pushing too hard."

You don't read any of those words in the Bible, because Paul didn't write them and he certainly didn't believe them.  In fact, Paul indicated in the passage above that his impression of "many opposing me" meant that he in fact was going in the correct direction!

So what insight does Paul give us about open doors as a Christian?  First, open doors indicate a difficult path.  If you have followed this blog very long you might recognize that as a pattern, but you have to look deeper than the surface level.  There was an open door for us to move to Seattle and the Lord was absolutely in it.  The path cleared in a mere 3 months and we were gone.  What we discovered as we crossed the threshold of the open door, however, was difficulty, sorrow, and pain.  A move is celebrated before you make the move, but when you actually arrive and realize your aloneness, and when you experience the spiritual hardness of the new place and the lack of interest in Jesus, the path becomes much more difficult.

Paul actually had a keen understanding of why open doors are the gateway to a difficult path.  In fact, his perspective was quite unique because before becoming a follower of Jesus, he WAS part of the opposition!

Acts 8:2-3

Saul was one of the witnesses, and he agreed completely with the killing of Stephen.

A great wave of persecution began that day, sweeping over the church in Jerusalem; and all the believers except the apostles were scattered through the regions of Judea and Samaria. 2 (Some devout men came and buried Stephen with great mourning.) 3 But Saul was going everywhere to destroy the church. He went from house to house, dragging out both men and women to throw them into prison.

Saul, who later changed his name to Paul, was a very zealous and passionate guy.  In his zeal for the Jewish faith, he spent his life chasing people from city to city just so he could arrest them and throw them in prison.  The charges against them?  They proclaimed that Jesus is the Son of God and taught others the same.  Yes, Paul was keenly aware of opposition to the mission of the Church because he led the opposition.  And later, when he met Jesus face to face while traveling to Damascus, he suddenly realized that his participation in the opposition was wrong, and that Jesus really was who He claimed to be.  That changed the entire game for this guy named Saul.

And yet even in the middle of the opposition that Saul was stirring up against the new Church, the Lord was able to use that for good.  If you read further in the same passage, you see this.

Picks up with vs. 4:  But the believers who were scattered preached the Good News about Jesus wherever they went. 5 Philip, for example, went to the city of Samaria and told the people there about the Messiah. 6 Crowds listened intently to Philip because they were eager to hear his message and see the miraculous signs he did. 7 Many evil[a] spirits were cast out, screaming as they left their victims. And many who had been paralyzed or lame were healed. 8 So there was great joy in that city.

You mean to tell me that these new believers who were excited to teach others about Jesus, who were now fleeing for their lives from this guy Saul, actually were experiencing an open door?  Experiencing danger and opposition as a Christian might actually mean the door is open?  On the surface it seems implausible, but then one has to examine the fruit that was produced by this opposition.  Did you see it?

The Gospel was preached because Saul chased them to different cities.

Crowds listened intently to the message.

Evil spirits were cast out.

The sick were healed.

There was great joy in the city.

That's what Jesus is able to do.  He can take bad situations and turn them around for good.  He can take situations that might bring discouragement and turn them into something that brings great joy.  He can actually use things intended for evil and make them turn out for good.  To be clear, I'm sure the believers were not experiencing a cake-walk in their lives at the time.  They probably were tired from constantly being on the run during persecution.  I'm sure they experienced fear that they might be caught.  It is probable that they had moments of discouragement while on the run or hiding.  And yet, they seemed to know what Paul later knew, that there was an open door in their cities to teach about Jesus, and they were actively walking through that open door.

So what can you take from all of this and apply to your life?  We can go to one of the teachings of Jesus Himself for a good summary on that.

Matthew 7:13

The Narrow Gate

13 “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell[f] is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. 14 But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.

I have long believed that you can have confirmation on the right way to go about life by observing what the rest of the world does and deliberately traveling in the opposite direction.  The wrong path as a follower of Jesus actually looks like Interstate 10 in parts of Houston.  The road is extremely wide with many lanes and a whole lot of people are going that way.  Don't go down that path.

The path that Jesus describes is one that winds around.  This path probably is steep, and may have thorns that will scratch you as you climb.  This path also is narrow because there aren't many people traveling that way, and it undoubtedly is not well marked.  However, that path leads to the only thing in this life or the next that actually matters, and that is Jesus Himself.  Knowing Him or not knowing Him has dramatic implications for eternity.

 Many American Christians don't really want this kind of religion.  If it's difficult and painful, we want to avoid that sort of thing.  Let me suggest that if that is the case for you, Christianity probably isn't what you want.  There are a lot of other religions out there that claim to be the path to prosperity and success, or inner peace and comfort.  Christianity doesn't claim to be that, in spite of what is preached from many pulpits today.  But know this:  all of those other proclaimed pathways lead to death.  They may make you feel good about yourself now, and may seem easy and right today, but on the day you die, you will realize how wrong you actually were.  And when you make that realization, it will be too late to do anything about it.

C.S. Lewis said it best about what the Lord is actually trying to do in you through the difficulties and persecutions you experience along the way as a Christian.  

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.

What the Savior wants to do in you is to make a dwelling place for Himself, that He would live in and through you as you walk the narrow path of this life toward eternity with Him.  That is true love. 

 

Onward into the Fog

Last year I posted this picture on the blog, and it still remains one of my favorites.  Its meaning to me is symbolic of our walk as we obeyed in faith to come to the Northwest.  Fog ahead, arrows pointing in the opposite direction, some lights along the way to light the path.  But mostly, someone on this path is going to be walking through endless miles of fog.  That is where we find ourselves once again, and the Lord has a plan in it.

If you have read much of what I have written on these pages, you will know much about what is inside me.  The pride which the Lord has dealt with over a long period of time, the internal wrestling, the questioning, the second guessing, and sometimes the loneliness that comes with such significant change as our family has endured.  What the Lord is working on in me now is my tendency to do it all, or attempt to do it all.

I have always had the attitude that I can work hard enough, plan well enough, and put forth enough effort to get just about anything done.  That's a great characteristic to have for someone in business or even someone who works in the school system as I do, but that characteristic is an Achilles heel in God's kingdom.  Why?  Because if you go fourth in your own effort, you are not going forward in faith, in joy of relationship with the Lord, or with the correct motives.  Your actions can give all of the appearance of moving forward by God's Spirit, until they are tested over time.

Psalm 127:1 Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the LORD protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.

Morning over Everett and the north Cascades.

I am now in a place where I am unable to continue on at the pace at which I was going because I have, all too often, done things from sheer effort and strength.  And that runs out after a time.  We face the reality of trying to plant a church without a big team of people to help lead the charge.  We have done Kid's Club for much of the spring with just a few people running and organizing the whole thing, and over the summer we began Gatherings in our house that were done solely by Amanda, myself, and Ashleigh our intern.  Each of these have borne fruit, particularly Kid's Club, but it has forced me to reflect on what the Lord is doing and what I'm trying to do on my own.  Our pace is not sustainable with the amount of leaders we have.

The last week in July we had a mission team from Humble Area's First Baptist Church come up to help us do a sports camp at Jackson Elementary, and it was a huge success.  We had a total of about 65 kids show up during the week, and were able to connect with many of the parents during the week.  Seeds were planted, I believe, for the long term.  The team did such a great job and were very helpful to us.  Then reality sets in for us when that team jumps on an airplane and heads back home, leaving us here to continue on.

In the middle of the trip, I was already in the midst of a period of reflection and prayer regarding what the Lord is doing right now.  Things just haven't made sense.  How do we move forward when we are so tired?  Will we have other leaders join us, and if so, when?  What do we do right now?  Am I as connected to my family as I should be?  Is my marriage as strong as it could be?  Is my relationship with the Lord vibrant, dynamic, and alive?

What the Lord spoke to me during this time was unmistakable because it spoke right to my fears and questions.

Haggai 2:4-5
⁴ But now the Lord says: Be strong, Zerubbabel. Be strong, Jeshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people still left in the land. And now get to work, for I am with you, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. ⁵ My Spirit remains among you, just as I promised when you came out of Egypt. So do not be afraid.’

Yes, I realize my name isn't Zerubbabel, or Jeshua, or Jehozadak, but I do believe the Lord was in this message to me.

• Be strong- the Lord hasn't left the Northwest (if He ever does, I'm going with him!)
• All you people still left in the land- the mission team has left and gone back home.  We are left here, seemingly alone.
• Get to work- don't wait around for something to happen.  See where the Lord is working and and join.
• My Spirit remains among you- reassurance that the Holy Spirit is still here.
• Do not be afraid- this is the natural reaction to our situation.  Aloneness, fear, and questioning are natural for us.  But the Lord has the answers.

During this same time with the Lord, I continued reading and found probably one of the most important verses in the Bible for people like me.

Zechariah 4:6 New Living Translation (NLT)⁶ Then he said to me, “This is what the Lord says to Zerubbabel: It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.

So from this I took that we are to continue working to further the Kingdom here, but that it must be done in a spirit of humility and of waiting on the Lord.  Anything done in our own strength will perish.  Anything done by the Lord's Spirit is eternal.

What does this mean in practical terms for us?  We plan on relaunching Kid's Club in the fall, but this time we are going to wait to get volunteers.  I do believe the Lord wants us to continue this outreach since we had a number of kids accept Jesus last year, and because we were able to touch the lives of so many kids.  However, I do not believe this can go in my own strength.  The days of me organizing this weekly, teaching the lesson, leading most of the games, and attempting to connect with parents are over.  That's too much for one person to do.  To do this is to go in one's own strength, and it is not healthy for our family or for me.

Instead, we are putting out inquiries to individuals and some other local like-minded churches to see if they might commit long-term to coming to serve.  We want other pastors to come do the lesson with kids, we want young people to come organize games for the kids (and the young at heart), and we want anyone with a creative mind to come work on crafts with kids.  Long-term, we'd love to incorporate adults who would come and tutor kids during this time.  All of this is work in God's Kingdom, all of it is meaningful, and all of it involves the entire Body of Christ.

The key this time around is that we have decided to wait until the Lord provides the people to help.  We aren't obligated to start Kid's Club when school starts, nor are we obligated to start it on any specific date.  We believe the Lord wants us to do this ministry, but that He must go ahead of us.  To do that, we have to stop initiating on our own and assume it will all work out.  We have to wait.

We are seeing that the Lord may be expanding the territory of Kid's Club.  Since coming to my new school I was approached by a local church that heard about our Kid's Club and is now interested in starting it there.  I have also spoken with another church that is interested in doing this with us with the intent of branching off to yet another elementary school in the future.  We will see what the Lord does, but this could turn into something that goes from impacting 40 kids to impacting hundreds of kids for Jesus.  We will pray and see how it plays out.

Regarding our Gatherings, unless we suddenly have more leaders materialize soon, we will likely have to stop doing those.  The idea of a Gathering may be a "not now" thing versus a "never" thing.  Reality right now is that we are hosting everyone in our home, preparing the adult lessons, preparing the kid lessons and supervision, teaching, and trying to keep everyone excited and together.  This is great work for about 6 leaders, but is unsustainable work for 2.

As always, I want you to hear our story and do some reflection, and this time is no different.  Do you see areas of your life where you are going in your own strength?  Have you been exhausted in your involvement in ministry and are trying to figure that out?  Are you overwhelmed by life right now and want to go run and hide?  Are your family relationships strained because you are doing so much away from them, or because you are completely drained by all of the activities you are doing apart from them?  We have been in that place with you.

You and I aren't meant to:

• work ourselves to death in God's Kingdom while other Christians stand by and watch.   
• sacrifice our marriage for the sake of ministry. 
• sacrifice our kids for the sake of the Kingdom.

None of these things are supported in scripture.  If you don't believe me, see Moses's conversation with his father in law regarding his workload (Exodus 18).  Or see the Bible's commentary on Eli in 1 Samuel 2.  Or even take a look at how the Lord really feels about divorce in Malachi 2:16.  These passages seem to indicate to me that the Lord expects us to work in His kingdom AND balance things at home.
Rather we are meant to go in the strength that the Lord provides.  We are meant to have partners in ministry who will help to share the load.  We are meant to function as a body, with one arm doing one thing and another arm doing related work;  with legs that move the body forward, with a torso that holds the body together.  The Body of Christ has many parts, all of which do different things but all of which work toward the same goal.  

I see our path in ministry now as being at a pace set by the Lord, not by us.  I have never been able to figure out what the Lord's long-term plan is, and today is no different.  But we, like you, can rest in what the Apostle Paul said about Christian living in this dark world.

Romans 12: 
¹² Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.
  

More Than We Can Handle

“God will never give you more than you can handle.” 

I have had many well-meaning Christians tell me these words over the last 18 months when I’ve been depressed about what’s happening in life at the moment, particularly with my call to the Northwest.  The unfortunate thing is that these words don’t appear in the Bible at all, and in fact, nothing like that is ever said in the Bible.  Jesus didn’t say it, it doesn’t appear in the 10 commandments, it isn’t in a Psalm of David, nor is it a proverb of Solomon.  Many people think the Bible says this because they misquote 1 Corinthians, in which Paul is writing about temptation.

1 Corinthians 10:13 New Living Translation (NLT)

¹³ The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

Thank God that He places limits on the intensity of our temptations.

Now back to difficulties in life.  Personal experience has shown me that, besides the Bible never saying anywhere that we "won't be given more than we can handle," these words are simply not true.  Yes, you did read that right.  God will give you more than you can handle.  A lot more.

Why would He do that? Let me illustrate it personally first.

I have had many, many days here in the Pacific Northwest that gave me more than I could handle.  Let's run down my list of burdens that are too heavy for me to carry.

1. Our move to the Northwest-  It is no small thing to move away from everyone you know and all of the comforts you had because you felt the Lord calling you away.  At time, the isolation and loneliness have been intense.
2. Family- I often joke about having 5 boys and how crazy our house is, but make no mistake, they by themselves are a tremendous burden.  As a parent you have to be "on" all of the time and ready to parent at any moment.  I don't always feel like doing that.
3. Ministry- Starting a new church while working a regular full time job is difficult and takes all of your time.  How do you balance ministry and family, work and relationships?  I ask that question constantly.
4. Work- Often, work by itself will give me more than I could handle.  Whether it's a major problem that has to be dealt with or broken relationships that need to be fixed, all of these things are a burden. 

Frequently, these things combine into a perfect storm of circumstances, and my reaction in many cases to the perfect storm is to become angry.  I will sometimes become angry at God and have difficulty praying.  Other times I’ll just desire to be alone and away from anyone and everyone.  And still other times I may try to connect with someone who “gets it” so they can hear me out.  I do this because in my mind, God doesn’t get it.  In those moments, I am so very wrong.

The Power of Fog

We live in a world that is completely broken on every level, with more needs than any of us could ever meet and with greater powers of evil present than we could ever comprehend.  We are unable to change any of this on our own, and thank God for that.  God wants the world to come into relationship with Himself, and the most effective way for that to happen is for circumstances to point to Him and not to you.  We are weak.  He is strong.

God gives us more than we can handle because what He really wants is all of you, not just the portion you choose to throw His way on Sunday mornings or when you do your quiet time or when you do an act of service in His kingdom.  He sees that we are a vapor, a mist, a passing fog on this earth.  Consider the last time you saw fog drifting through an area.  It didn't possess any real power on its own.  It simply drifted through and eventually burned away due to the sun's heat.  You and I contain all of the raw power that the vapor, mist, or fog contains on the earth.  We can’t do it on our own, and we are not meant to.

Matthew 11
²⁸ Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

The thing that took me so long to understand is that He doesn't lift my burdens off of my shoulders automatically.  I have to try to lift them, experience that it is too much, and go to Him for help and in submission.  Then, and only then, will His broad shoulders lift the yoke off of my shoulders.  And like oxen or horses that are pulling a load, when I am "yoked together" with the Savior, I am walking with Him.

I am convinced that what God wants is our absolute surrender to His will.  He’s very clear in Revelation that He doesn’t want our spiritual leftovers left covered in the fridge.   

^{Revelation 3 
15} “I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! ¹⁶ But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!

He wants the first part of the meal that we cook, and over time you will discover that He wants it all:  all of your worship, all of your praise, all of you.   This isn’t done out of meanness or spite.  It is done because He loves us with such an intensity that we could never imagine it.  He also sees through the things we have deceived ourselves with, including our feelings of power and ability.  He made us and realizes that we are quite weak.  The only way to make it is to fully surrender and let him take it all.

The Patience of the Lord

Many Christians out there don’t want that much of God.  They want to compartmentalize Him into a specific part of their day, week, or month and have the rest to themselves.  It’s almost like tithing.  They are sort of okay with giving 10% (and might argue about gross or net pay in that), but the other 90% is theirs to spend at will.  In my worst moments, I still wrestle with thoughts like that.  How dare God want all of me?  Doesn’t He see this is MY life?

Thankfully God doesn’t give up on people like you and me.  We are actually fortunate that we are pursued by this Holy God.  If we are actually followers of His, He will pursue us with the same intensity that He pursued Jonah.  He will place massive storms in our way, and when we turn around we will see massive waves the other direction.  When we run 100 miles into the wilderness out of fear and exhaustion, like Elijah did, God is right there at our destination, waiting on us.  When we tell God that we can't do what He's asked us to do, He just comes back and tells us again like He did when Moses told Him no.

Hosea 14

14 ^[a]Return, O Israel, to the Lord your God,
    for your sins have brought you down.
² Bring your confessions, and return to the Lord.
    Say to him,
“Forgive all our sins and graciously receive us,
    so that we may offer you our praises.^[b]
3 Assyria cannot save us,
    nor can our warhorses.
Never again will we say to the idols we have made,
    ‘You are our gods.’
No, in you alone
    do the orphans find mercy.”

My experience?  God will give you more than you can handle.  That’s important when it comes to a person like me who is driven, passionate, and focused.  As long as I believe I can do anything I put my mind to, He is still going to have to work on me.  That’s why we adopted 3 kids that come from a difficult place and who are difficult themselves.  That’s why God asked us to move to the Seattle area where we knew nobody and had no plan.  That’s why we are planting Purpose Church without a lot of help.  It’s because we can’t do it and because He can do it.  If we succeed, it was His doing, not my great strategy, planning, or charisma, that did it.

What does this have to do with you?  Are you overwhelmed by life right now and feeling boxed in?  Are you angry with God and seeking respite or a place go cry by yourself?  Do you feel unbelievable pressure each day and have no way to deal with it?  Go to the Father in prayer.  Just get on your knees before Him and wait on Him to speak.  Get away from people and spend some time with your Creator.  Surrender every part of your self to Him, and see what He does in response.

Your problems may not all magically resolve themselves, your pressure may not disappear, and your kids may not begin to act correctly, but what you may have is the strength to get through that day or that hour.  And in the midst of the trial you will likely display the grace that could only come as a reflection of the Father you follow, and that makes Him known to people around you.  And when you look back, it wasn’t that you were running a race and crossed the finish line.  It wasn’t that you ran a marathon and finished, or completed an Ironman Triathalon.  You will realize that you were carried through the entirety of the trial.

Why Numbers Are Deceptive

For those who know me well, you know I am a numbers guy.

In the world of education, I have always believed numbers tell a story about a classroom, a building, and even an entire school district.  Sometimes test scores tell the story;  other times it is attrition, attendance, or something else.  Numbers always tell a story.

As is customary with the Lord now, He seems to enjoy taking what I believe and turning it on its head.  I am still coming to grips with the fact that in the church world as a follower of Jesus, numbers don't always mean anything, and sometimes they can be used to draw the wrong conclusions.

Let's look at one of those for a minute.  How do you measure the health of a church?  How do you measure the "success" of a church plant or of the church planter themselves?  What are the indicators of success?  Many churches out there would first point to their attendance as evidence that they have a strong church, and attendance is important.  But how well are those churches actually following Jesus' command to make disciples (Matthew 28:18-20)?  It is unfortunate, but if you live in the Bible Belt where I used to live, there are tons of people who attend church each week just because that's what you do on Sunday.  But in examining their lives throughout the rest of the week, listening to what they say and observing how they behave, they don't appear to be any different from the rest of the world.  Their language is just as coarse, their actions just as vindictive and selfish, and their activities just as depraved as the entire rest of the world.  Jesus never said church attendance would get you to heaven, yet multitudes of people out there act like He did.

What about growth?  Many people out there can point to statistics that say over the last year the church body has grown by such and such percent.  That's a great thing!  However, we go back to the person's life to examine it, and what do we see?  Is there a change?  Is there a difference?  Is the person shining any of the light of Jesus into this dark world, or are they like everyone else, easily fitting in with the shadows?

Another thing we could look to is salvations, or the number of people who have decided to follow Jesus.  Unfortunately that also can be a deceptive statistic due to what church culture has turned it into.  The Bible speaks of a person turning from their wicked ways and choosing to follow Jesus, which day to day looks like a deepening prayer life and life change.  Church culture has turned it into a one-time decision or event where we "accept Jesus" and nothing beyond that is expected.  That is not the Biblical view of salvation.  Instead it is a life-long process where a person, still imperfect, walks down that skinny trail that leads to the Lord.  Gradually they shed the things of this world and set their sights on the things of the Lord, so that over years the new creation looks different from the old self.  No wonder Jesus describes a time when many come to him proclaiming all of the good things that they did and yet He still states that "I never knew you."  (Matthew 7:21-23)  These people are regular churchgoers that Jesus is turning away, which should make us shudder. 

In this place we are in, none of those statistics are very meaningful.  Starting a new church here doesn't look like it does in Texas because church life isn't part of the culture here.  New churches here may struggle for 5-8 years just to get to 100 people, whereas in Texas you should probably be to that level in 18 months to 2 years.  Things just don't work the same way in the Northwest.

This is where I have found that often I am my own worst enemy.  I have a certain expectation of myself and of the way in which the Lord will start and build this church.  But the Lord doesn't look at the same things that I look at.  Instead, He looks at the heart.  He looks for life change, for the fruit that accompanies the work of His spirit within a person.  In fact, when you read the New Testament you will see Him over and over and over again refer to the fruit produced in the life of a person (Galatians 5:22-23;  Matthew 7:15-16;  Matthew 12:33).  Life change.  His spirit can't help but cause it in a person, and that's why we call it being reborn.

Nobody has ever come to me with an expectation that we will grow to a certain number by a certain year, that we will have baptized X number of people, or that we'll be meeting in a building by a certain date.  That pressure is all internal to me.  Also internal is this feeling that, since the Lord bothered to move our family here and we've been here for 18 months, lots of people should be showing up by now and committing to Jesus.  I have found that when I pause to seek the Lord, He continues to be relentless on the one thing He has been relentless about the entire time.  Me.

There are three things that our family is supposed to do while in Everett, the things that the Lord has tasked us with.  The first is to point to Him in what we say and in what we do.  Knowing me you should know that I know and follow Jesus, whether you believe in Him or not.  Second, we are to make disciples of other people so that they can go make some disciples as well.  Third, we need to invite as much as possible our friends and neighbors to come to the wedding banquet of the Lord.

It is not our job to seek first the attendance of people, nor is it our job to "save" people.  I am unable to save anyone, so getting out of that business is important.  I am also unable to make anyone out there interested in following Jesus.  Yes, you did read that right.  I can speak of what Jesus has done in my life, talk about what He said and did, and explain why He went to the cross for us.  But I am unable to capture another person's interest to the level that they want to make a decision to follow Him (John 6:44).  Only He can do that, and scripture specifically says that it is the Holy Spirit that draws people to Himself.

I sincerely hope that Purpose Church continues to grow from the 4 families that currently make it up, but there is not any guarantee of that over the next year.  We will continue to meet, disciple, and struggle on the road to becoming more like the Savior.  What we should be looking at is life change within those four families.  It seems that my success as a leader is defined by how well I submit to and follow my Leader, Jesus Christ.  I am not measured by how well I organize or by how many events I put on.

The qualifications for you and I receiving the highest praise of the Savior, "well done, good and faithful servant," don't rely on 100% growth in a year, or on a certain number of salvations, or on baptisms.  The weight of that statement lies in how well we obeyed what He told us to do.  Let that sink in for a moment, and consider what it is that He has told you to do.

I have thought much in the last year about what the Lord has asked our family to do here in Everett.  I believe we are doing it right now, although not perfectly.  He has asked us to adopt kids and to parent them well, has asked us to pick up everything we own and move, and He has asked us to start a church and disciple people.  But if you believe I have a mission and you don't, you are mistaken.

What about you?

We have all been asked to do something by the Savior if in fact we are true followers of Him.  What is it that He wants you to be doing?  Have you asked?  Do you want to know, or like Jonah will you ignore the command you were given and walk the other direction?  While the Savior won't place burdens on us that we are unable to bear, He also will not tolerate we as believers turning from Him and walking the other way.  The Father has a long track record of pursuing those who turn away from His purposes.  See Elijah, Moses, and Saul as examples of that, to name a few.

What is Jesus asking you to do right now?  Are you doing those things?

The Reservoir

How much of Jesus do you have?

Sometimes I think we treat the Lord as though He is here to fill a giant reservoir in our souls.  We think that if we can go to a certain weekend event it will fill up.  If we just will attend church a little more often, we will see the water level rise incrementally, and then we will have enough water for another week's journey across the desert.  If I just read an extra chapter of the Bible, pick up another Christian book, or listen a little more to that Christian music that I will find myself closer to the Lord and will feel good again.  While you and I have a reservoir in our souls that only He can fill, it is entirely possible that this filling isn't supposed to be an event, but instead should be a continual thing.

The more time I spend in the Pacific Northwest the more I am sure that I have to spend more time with the Lord.  Yes I do get up every morning and pray and read my Bible, but I've found very quickly that it isn't enough to get me through a day here.  Some of you probably read that with some level of surprise.  What?  I've always been taught to do a quiet time in the morning and that would be good enough!  I can say from experience that it isn't good enough.  If the only time I talk to the Lord for the entire day is in the early morning, my reservoir is draining.

What causes this in my life?  Probably the same things that cause it in your life.  We are too busy to have time to pray.  Early meetings at work happen.  A fully scheduled day happens with more meetings, time spent with friends, time spent with family, or time spent (and wasted) looking at those phones that all of us carry.  And at the end of it all when you look up from the day, where did you see God in it all?  He was there, I can assure you, but did you SEE Him working anywhere?

A further drain happens when you have friends who would like spiritual advice, have encounters with neighbors and acquaintances here who do not believe in Jesus, or endure a spiritual attack.  Did you have the armor of God on at that time, or were you relying on this supposed reservoir to save you?  Did you go to your knees in prayer so you can meet these challenges, or did you simply try to push through it on your own?

You and I are not meant to be apart from the Lord, ever.  The great secret that the Lord wants you and I to discover is that He delights in us so much that He WANTS us to be around him and needing him every minute of every day.  And that is why mankind today rebels against God.  It isn't always that we don't believe in Him, it's that we don't want to surrender our lives to Him.  My life is mine to do with as I please, we tell ourselves, and the irony is that slowly over time we lose that very life we aim to so strongly defend.

God wants your time during the day as you work, He wants time in the evening as you spend time with your family, He wants time when you are alone with nothing but your thoughts or your electronic devices.  He wants all of you.  I'm not saying that you are supposed to be in prayer 24 hours a day, although there are worse things you could do.  What I am saying is that He wants you to speak to Him in prayer, listen to His spirit in a mode of waiting, and generally make it so that your life points to Him at all points and in all ways. 

Is the Lord allowed to take your time?
Is He allowed to take your food during a time of fasting and prayer?
Is He allowed to take all of you and not give it back?

John 7:38New Living Translation (NLT)

³⁸ Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’”^[a]

^{John 4:9-13}

¹⁰ Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”
¹¹ “But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water? ¹² And besides, do you think you’re greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us this well? How can you offer better water than he and his sons and his animals enjoyed?”
¹³ Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. ¹⁴ But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”

Kid's Club Wrap Up

On June 2nd we had our last Kid's Club for the school year.  This particular one was a bit different in that we taught 2 Bible lessons to our kids, and we did it in small groups.  Because God is great and had a plan all along, we "happened" to be at the point to teach about the Passover, so we did a large-group lesson on all of the things the Israelites had to do for the first Passover to prevent the death of the firstborn.  We later broke into small groups and taught the kids about Jesus, the infinite and final Passover lamb.

At the end of it we had 4 kids accept Jesus right on the spot, and another 3 who are right at the doorstep but still have some thinking to do about it.  That's a pretty amazing harvest when you think about it!  I am still amazed sometimes that we live in America and yet I am telling the story of Jesus to people who are hearing about Him for the first time.  That of course was the case on that Tuesday.  What a blessing to see God at work right in that moment.  He surely is doing something through Kid's Club.

We were thankful at the end of that day and very tired at the same time.  Kid's Club has been done with 40 kids for many weeks, all of which was done with only 4-5 adults leading it.  The work has been exhausting, but I still believe the Lord will draw workers to these harvest fields when He is ready to. 

While I can't control who ultimately chooses to join the journey God has us on, I can control how much time I spend with the One who fills my reservoir.  Without Him, I have no hope whatsoever.  With Him, I have all the hope in the universe.

Haystack Rock on the Oregon Coast.  Amanda and I got some time away at this amazing work of God's creation last weekend.