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Since leaving our former life in Texas, I have seen God at work in directing our present and redirecting our future. At the same time, He has continued to whittle away at things from our past that are not as they should be. I have mentioned pride for myself numerous times, and I believe He also is teaching us to love others and to see the world the way He does. Our priorities are changing and will probably continue to change. What was most important to us years ago or even 9 months ago doesn't seem to matter as much.
I think sometimes about where we were one year ago. At this time we had just finished the school year. I had just experienced one of the most personally and professionally demanding and draining years that I had ever experienced. I was tired and unsettled, and was wondering what so many of us wonder at some point in our lives.
"Is this really all there is?"
We had already scheduled our mission trip to Seattle and Tacoma, Washington, and both of us had a feeling that the Lord was involved and had led us to go on that trip, perhaps for a longer-term purpose. Amanda and I were about to go on a long-planned vacation to Jamaica together. We were also going on a family vacation to Colorado to meet up with Amanda's family. Life was "normal," or whatever that really is.
Flash forward one year. I have a completely new job. We are in a different state. In fact, we moved 6 states and 2,400 miles away from home. We have been in a new house in an inner-city environment for 3 months. The kids changed schools twice. We lived in an apartment for a while. We joined a church and have fully engaged in ministry with neighbors and those in need. We both are discipling individuals in our spare time and are seeing the Holy Spirit's work first-hand as He changes both them and us. We have experienced growth and heartache; sweetness of fellowship with following the Lord mixed with the bitterness of leaving beloved friends and immediate family. We have gained much and lost much at the same time. And yet, we are still doing better than someone who is simply "above ground for another day." We are genuinely trying to follow Jesus in where He is moving in Everett, Washington. And He is moving.
So here in June of 2014 we found ourselves in a park in Everett while our kids played on the playground. We met as community pastors to again talk about the mission trip in July where Humble Area's First Baptist Church will send a team of people to help us for a week. Our talk this week was centered on what kind of street ministry we will do with the team. No matter what detail we talk about regarding the trip, there is always a growing excitement expressed by one of us that ANYONE would bother to come help us out. It is as though we are a ship that has been at sea for many months without seeing land. Then one day we receive a radio call that a supply ship is not far off and is bringing everything that we need, including provisions and people to assist in our work. We begin to see the lights of the ship on the horizon. Is that them? Are they really coming to help US? Wow, God is good.
As I met with the Community Pastors this week we were able to talk about yet another need that the Lord seems to be involved in meeting. We are much closer to having a church van that we can use to transport people from Family Tree Apartments. This has been a giant and growing need every single week because many of our families don't have a car. The only way to get them to church is if we personally go get them. I took over coordinating transportation about a month ago and generally spend 1-2 hours per week coordinating transportation so that everyone can get to church. We have families with cars swing by on the way to church to pick people up. Others leave their worship practice to go get 1-2 people. While we can do this and have done it for a while, it will be an unbelievable blessing to be able to send one person with a big van to go get everyone. It will save time for everyone involved and will allow us to bring even more people to church over the long-term. In fact, we believe God is going to provide us with at least another van load of people in the near future. What a blessing!
On Spiritual Matters
Last week I was up to bat on preaching duties, this time on John 16 regarding Jesus's teachings on the Holy Spirit. I have seen a pattern developing as I approach a teaching week. In one corner of the boxing ring I am usually challenged to experience firsthand whatever topic I will be teaching on. It is as though Jesus is telling me that knowledge is no longer good enough. I also have to have personal application of the teaching, partly so I can share it with others and partly because I have to grow as well. In the other corner is the enemy, standing ready to oppose our family and whatever message I am about to teach on. For example, Amanda and I don't argue very much, but if we are going to have an argument it will be on the week I am teaching, and it will be made personal to the extent that we are forced to decide on whether we will rely on ourselves or rely on the Holy Spirit. This was one of those weeks.
While we were both in the midst of this trying week, we both found that we needed prayer and we needed to pray. Ironically (or not), one passage I was teaching on was Romans 8:26-30.
Romans 8:26-27
And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.
I experienced several moments over that week that really had me at a loss. I didn't now what to pray or how to pray for it. There were times when, I confess, I just didn't want to pray at all due to my anxiety. This passage was a reminder to me that in those times, all I can do is ask the Holy Spirit to intervene on my behalf.
As part of my preparation for sermons I have found that I need to pray often, for the right words to say, for the Spirit's leading of those listeners, and that I would neither add to nor take away from what is said in the Bible. This particular Saturday I didn't really want to get in front of anyone and talk. I would rather run and hide somewhere to sort through what is going on in my head, but in cases like this all the Lord asks is that I show up and follow. What happened as a result was masterfully described by the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians:
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
We prayed before I started teaching and asked that the Lord would speak the way He wanted to speak. I acknowledged the opposition I was sensing to the message for that night and we laid it at the feet of Jesus and asked the Holy Spirit to speak to people individually. The Spirit apparently did speak to some of the listeners that evening. I probably had a bigger reaction to that lesson than any of the previous ones. Many people indicated something that they got from it. Was this me? No. I brag for what the Lord said to them. I just had to show up and stay out of the way.
Unfortunately my troubles were not over that day as I continued to experience a level of frustration and despair over the next few days. Of course this was because we were doing the Family Tree Dinner on Tuesday night, where we feed anyone who will show up from the apartment complex. Again I was weak and again we prayed as community pastors prior to the event, asking the Lord to take the burdens we had carried in with us and simply work through us as He saw fit. When I looked up after an hour had passed (it seemed like about 10 minutes), I found myself in the midst of witnessing to a resident who described himself as "spiritual," a man who seems to be seeking a God that he has never met. We talked about Jesus and what He did, and the man left excited about what he had heard and seemed to desire to start going to our church. I don't know any other way to explain what happened than to say that the Holy Spirit showed up and reached out to that man. I am so honored to have been a part of that. Again, my job was simply to lay my burdens down and follow. What an amazing testament on the Spirit's power in my weakness.
What did I learn this week? God showed me the full force of the apparently paradoxical statement that "when I am weak, then I am strong." The world says I should build my resume to highlight strengths. In yet another example of God's kingdom being opposite of the world, I now see that my resume should highlight weakness. Yes, among my extensive list of weaknesses and flaws, here is the fertile ground for the Lord to be most powerful. Instead of looking at what I bring to the table, I should look for what I don't bring. When and where I am weak, there I am strong.
A field of strawberries in Arlington, which is a short drive north of Everett. We picked fresh strawberrries over the weekend and had more than we could handle! This was a visible reminder of the fact that the spiritual harvest is ripe in our area, but the workers are few.
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