The Mirror: Reflections on a Prayer Walk

<sup>Yesterday I left work during lunch and took a walk down Broadway Avenue in Everett.  I believe I was prompted by the Lord to go and see who was hanging out on this street and what was going on.  It is the main avenue through Everett and is very busy.  There are various civil service organizations there and, as such, many homeless individuals and addicts.

I walked and prayed and asked the Lord to have me speak to anyone that He would choose that I speak to.  While that did not happen, I was able to pray for our city and witness firsthand the mission field that we were sent into, as well as walk through the middle of the spiritual battlefield.

What follows below is a brief reflection I wrote right after I came off of the street.  It is raw and full of emotion and barely has been edited.  I call it "The Mirror" because I believe it reflects an accusing image of myself and the sheltered life I have led on this earth.  For too long I knew too much about what the Word said while doing too little with it.

I was not planning on posting it at all but Amanda thought it best that you see it.  I want you to know before you read it that nothing in there is meant to be offensive to you.  If it hits "close to home" for you, it is entirely possible that the Holy Spirit is speaking to you.  In fact, it is my prayer that He does.  If anything, I hope it makes you pause and reflect on your life and what you do each and every day.  It has forced me to do that very thing.  Also, it will provide a tiny and probably inadequate glimpse into the world here in the Pacific Northwest.</sup>

 ^{A business on Broadway advertises "low cost divorces."}

<sup>The Mirror:  Reflections on a walk in Everett

We need to wake up!  The enemy has invaded and in places has taken over our territory while we were napping.  But we were'nt napping.  We were building homes for ourselves.  And when those didn't suit us anymore, we built homes on a grander scale.  We build walls around our homes to shut the nastiness of the world out.  We didn't want to see it.  We couldn't bear to see it and what the enemy had done to it.  When our walls didn't shut things out anymore, we built walls around our communities to keep that ugly world out.  But the ugly world didn't go away.  It waited for us, and it got ever uglier.  And we did nothing.

When we look at our streets we see people who are homeless and people who are addicts.   They were once the child of some mother somewhere.  Some of them were welcomed into the world with great joy, surrounded by family members and friends.  Others were welcomed to a violent world, to a mother that couldn't bear to look at them and a father that wasn't there.  But all the same they came into this world, and they were someone's child.

Where are they now?  They live on the streets.  Some go from place to place in wheelchairs, drunk or stoned to kill the pain.  Others walk about from place to place, never finding rest, watching people as they pass by.  Money is used to buy drugs instead of food, always to kill the pain or to fill the unfillable hole.

Yet we don't pass by these folks anymore.  We have purchased cars that will take us places quietly.  They are strong and safe.  They have tinted windows so that the ugliness of the world can't look in at us and make us feel ashamed.  We drive everywhere, even if it is a block away.  We are lazy, but we are also worried about seeing the ugliness of the world and having to deal with it.

We are told that the church isn't a building but a collection of people, and yet we build buildings so we can reside in them all of the time.  We invite people when we are asked to, but they are carefully selected to make sure they fit in.  We go through the motions of worship of God during Sunday and live OUR lives the rest of the week.  Our comfort level numbs our sense of need for the Creator.

And yet the ugliness of the world is still on our doorstep.  There is sin everywhere and people living in sin everywhere.  And while all of them are in pain whether they want to admit it or not, we do nothing.  We carry our lighted lamp yet hide it under a basket.

We don't reveal the wellspring of everlasting water that will quench the thirst of their souls.  We don't talk about the One who is both the Father of Life and the Father of us.  We are children, we all have parents and yet we don't talk about The Parent.  We are loved, but we are blind to it.  We have too much to do.

Wake up!  We were commanded to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, and to love our neighbor as ourself.  We must first remove ourselves from the sun that scorches us or from the weeds of life that choke us. We must help those who were planted on a rocky path where the soil was shallow.   We must help to remove weeds from first our lives and then from the lives of others so they can experience the thirst quenching power of the Lord's Spirit.  We must surrender.  We must surrender our calendars, our money, and our lives.  We must pray for our cities and for the people in them.  And we must stand in the little power we have and the great power He has to beat back the darkness from those who live in the ugly world around us.  We must bring them to the light as the Spirit reveals and draws them in.  We must be available.  We must love.



 Matthew 25:35-45
 34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world.
35</sup> For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. ³⁶ I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’
³⁷ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? ³⁹ When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
⁴⁰ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,^[f] you were doing it to me!’
⁴¹ “Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons.^{[g] 42} For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. ⁴³ I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’
⁴⁴ “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’
⁴⁵ “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’

God in the Wilderness, Part 2

 A lonely sign at the northeastern side of Oregon.  On our original trip to Washington we passed this sign in amazement.

This week we were fortunate to get to go on a family vacation/ reunion in Estes Park, Colorado.  We spent the week hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park, and I took the three big boys on their first backpacking trip ever.  For the week we hiked over 30 miles, seeing 4 mountain lakes and conquering 1 peak in the park, while at the same time spending quality time with the in-laws.  We always have fun with all of them and look forward to any time we get to spend with them.

While I wasn't directly involved in ministry in Everett this week, I was able to experience the teaching of the Lord each day.  First of all He continues to prompt me to pray more and more.  I found that I didn't have enough time to pray this week due to our crazy 7 person family being in a two room cabin, so I prayed when prompted to.  The odd part is that the more I pray, the more I want to pray.  It is clear that we are designed to NEED fellowship with our Creator.

The second major lesson this week came yet again in the form of a hike, this time on the backpacking trip with the boys.  If you have never backpacked, you probably need a description of what it is like.  Imagine gathering all of the belongings you will need for 2-3 days including shelter, food, clothing, and comfort items.  Next, your job is to fit all of them into a backpack that is somewhere between 55 and 70 liters in volume.  Once the pack is on, you have easily added 30-40lbs to your weight, and it pulls on your shoulders via the backpack straps.  After making some adjustments, you feel the pressure of the weight on your waist more than your back.  At this point, you are ready to hike into the wilderness about 4-6 miles.

Since this was the first trip the boys have been on, I wanted to make sure the experience was a good one.  I was very careful to get the right size pack for each of them, and made certain that I was carrying the majority of our equipment.    Generally they carried their sleeping bags and ground pad, food, personal clothing, and one other item that was relatively light.  We fitted their packs on their shoulders and were very careful to adjust all of the straps in the proper order so that the weight was distributed to the right place (lower is better), with the goal being their comfort.

Once we hit the trail, predictably we ran into some issues.  One at a time each of the boys experienced some hardship.  Their initial pride in going backpacking with Dad and in their mileage accomplishments on past hikes gave way to pain and uncertainty.  We probably stopped every 2/10ths of a mile to make further adjustments to alleviate pressure on their shoulders and backs.  After the first 3/4 of a mile I had to open several of their packs and rearrange the load distribution.  At one point I had unloaded one of their packs almost completely along the trail just so we could do the task the right way. Other hikers had to step over our stuff and I got some interesting looks from them as they passed me by.  Our initial progress was quite slow.

Once all of their packs were adjusted for comfort, we still had about 2.5 miles to go until we could drop our packs at the campground.  The battle shifted from one of discomfort and pain to one of motivation.  As our number of steps increased and our elevation did the same, everyone began battling tired feet and legs.  My role then shifted to that of chief motivator.  This involved me walking beside each boy, making eye contact, encouraging, and sometimes pulling the map out to show how far we had already gone and the "short" distance we still had to go.  The attitudes of the boys were not always good during this time and I don't blame them.  It certainly was a difficult hike.  Our relief later came in the form of one of my sons, who was ahead of the rest of the group.  He excitedly ran back down the trail to meet me with his backpack nowhere to be seen.  With glee in his voice he announced that we had reached the campsite!

This is where I see a lesson from the Lord.  On occasion He allows me to see my relationship with Him through the lens of my relationship with my sons. He does this, I believe, as a reminder of my obligation to follow Him, to trust, to love, and to strive in the little strength I have and the great strength He has.

Dad, this trail hurts.

Yes, son, I know.  Remember that I told you it would not be easy.  The end of the trail is worth it! 

Dad, my pack hurts.

Let me adjust the load for you.  There, that's better.

Dad, the pack really hurts.  I feel like my back is hurting.  Can you help?

Yes, son, I can help you. Let's reposition the stuff in your back a bit.

Dad, I think this is too heavy for me.

No problem, son.  I'll take some of the weight to help you out.

Dad, where's the campsite?  Are we lost?

It's coming up, son!  It won't be too far.  Every step is getting us closer to it.  Follow me.  I know the way.

I hope you can grasp the parallels with me.  The walk of a Christian isn't an easy one if it is done correctly.  There are some easy points and many difficult ones.  The final destination is worth every second of the pain. 

Matthew 7:14
But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.

As we go, Jesus goes with us, taking every step we take.  The pack doesn't disappear, but its load is shifted and adjusted based upon what we are able to bear in our little strength.  If we ask the Father, he will share the load with us, and we will continue to move forward.

Matthew 11:28-30
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

1 Corinthians 1:25
This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God’s weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength.

We may demand to get to the destination right now, and the point we are on in the path may seem like it is a million miles from anywhere.  But in the end we don't need to know about what lies ahead on the trail because that really wouldn't do us any good.  The Father only reveals what we need to see right now.

Acts 9:15-16
But the Lord said, “Go, for Saul is my chosen instrument to take my message to the Gentiles and to kings, as well as to the people of Israel. And I will show him how much he must suffer for my name’s sake.”

I actually didn't wind up taking any of the items that my boys were carrying, although I would have if they had asked me.  Why would I do that?  Love.  I don't want to run them into the ground.  I want them to succeed and I want what is best for them.  In this case, what was best for them was to carry a partial load for the experience of doing it, realizing all the while that they weren't carrying as much as I was.  They also needed to realize that they needed direction, direction that I had.  They needed to follow and trust me.

Is it at all possible that the Lord does these same things to us for the same reasons?  I find all too often that I get frustrated with the Lord because He won't take my entire load.  I get frustrated because the path we are traveling on hurts and has required us to shed so many things that brought us comfort.  I complain because all I can focus on is my pain and my striving and my lack of strength, when the One who can provide everything I need at that moment is right next to me.  And his silence and lack of action are not a lack of caring on His part, and it isn't disengagement.  It actually is done in love, because He knows what is best, and He knows The Way.

Did you pick up on the theme in this little parable?  Communication.  We must communicate with the Father, not because He is aloof or detached, and not because he is unaware of our current circumstances, but because He wants us to talk to him about...everything.  You and I are called to pray so that we may connect with the Father who cares for us more than anyone else we know in this world.  During prayer we can ask for things in our weakness that are only able to be fulfilled in His strength and greatness.           

Matthew 6:8
Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!

In these times when my relationship with my sons is a picture of my relationship to the Father, I am humbled.  I often do not measure up to what He does with me.  I am not as patient, not as wise, and certainly not as encouraging.  His greatness challenges me to be more like Him, and do it at all times with all people, starting with my own family.  Admittedly I am not there yet, but the Lord leads us on.

Strength in Weakness

Want automatic updates when a post is made to this blog?  Enter your email in the box to the right.  You will receive an email whenever a post is made.

A sculpture of a fisherman at the Port of Everett.  Since Everett historically has been a fishing community, this statue was placed in honor of all of the fishermen who worked out of our port.

 

Since leaving our former life in Texas, I have seen God at work in directing our present and redirecting our future.  At the same time, He has continued to whittle away at things from our past that are not as they should be.  I have mentioned pride for myself numerous times, and I believe He also is teaching us to love others and to see the world the way He does.  Our priorities are changing and will probably continue to change.  What was most important to us years ago or even 9 months ago doesn't seem to matter as much.

I think sometimes about where we were one year ago.   At this time we had just finished the school year.  I had just experienced one of the most personally and professionally demanding and draining years that I had ever experienced.  I was tired and unsettled, and was wondering what so many of us wonder at some point in our lives.

"Is this really all there is?"  

We had already scheduled our mission trip to Seattle and Tacoma, Washington, and both of us had a feeling that the Lord was involved and had led us to go on that trip, perhaps for a longer-term purpose.  Amanda and I were about to go on a long-planned vacation to Jamaica together.  We were also going on a family vacation to Colorado to meet up with Amanda's family.  Life was "normal," or whatever that really is.  

Flash forward one year.  I have a completely new job.  We are in a different state.  In fact, we moved 6 states and 2,400 miles away from home.  We have been in a new house in an inner-city environment for 3 months.  The kids changed schools twice.  We lived in an apartment for a while.  We joined a church and have fully engaged in ministry with neighbors and those in need.  We both are discipling individuals in our spare time and are seeing the Holy Spirit's work first-hand as He changes both them and us.  We have experienced growth and heartache;  sweetness of fellowship with following the Lord mixed with the bitterness of leaving beloved friends and immediate family.  We have gained much and lost much at the same time.  And yet, we are still doing better than someone who is simply "above ground for another day."  We are genuinely trying to follow Jesus in where He is moving in Everett, Washington.  And He is moving.

So here in June of 2014 we found ourselves in a park in Everett while our kids played on the playground.  We met as community pastors to again talk about the mission trip in July where Humble Area's First Baptist Church will send a team of people to help us for a week.  Our talk this week was centered on what kind of street ministry we will do with the team.  No matter what detail we talk about regarding the trip, there is always a growing excitement expressed by one of us that ANYONE would bother to come help us out.  It is as though we are a ship that has been at sea for many months without seeing land.  Then one day we receive a radio call that a supply ship is not far off and is bringing everything that we need, including provisions and people to assist in our work.  We begin to see the lights of the ship on the horizon.  Is that them?  Are they really coming to help US?  Wow, God is good.

As I met with the Community Pastors this week we were able to talk about yet another need that the Lord seems to be involved in meeting.  We are much closer to having a church van that we can use to transport people from Family Tree Apartments.  This has been a giant and growing need every single week because many of our families don't have a car.  The only way to get them to church is if we personally go get them.  I took over coordinating transportation about a month ago and generally spend 1-2 hours per week coordinating transportation so that everyone can get to church.  We have families with cars swing by on the way to church to pick people up.  Others leave their worship practice to go get 1-2 people. While we can do this and have done it for a while, it will be an unbelievable blessing to be able to send one person with a big van to go get everyone.  It will save time for everyone involved and will allow us to bring even more people to church over the long-term.  In fact, we believe God is going to provide us with at least another van load of people in the near future.  What a blessing!  

On Spiritual Matters

Last week I was up to bat on preaching duties, this time on John 16 regarding Jesus's teachings on the Holy Spirit.  I have seen a pattern developing as I approach a teaching week.  In one corner of the boxing ring I am usually challenged to experience firsthand whatever topic I will be teaching on.  It is as though Jesus is telling me that knowledge is no longer good enough.  I also have to have personal application of the teaching, partly so I can share it with others and partly because I have to grow as well.  In the other corner is the enemy, standing ready to oppose our family and whatever message I am about to teach on.  For example, Amanda and I don't argue very much, but if we are going to have an argument it will be on the week I am teaching, and it will be made personal to the extent that we are forced to decide on whether we will rely on ourselves or rely on the Holy Spirit.  This was one of those weeks.

While we were both in the midst of this trying week, we both found that we needed prayer and we needed to pray.  Ironically (or not), one passage I was teaching on was Romans 8:26-30.

Romans 8:26-27

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.

I experienced several moments over that week that really had me at a loss.  I didn't now what to pray or how to pray for it.  There were times when, I confess, I just didn't want to pray at all due to my anxiety.  This passage was a reminder to me that in those times, all I can do is ask the Holy Spirit to intervene on my behalf.  

As part of my preparation for sermons I have found that I need to pray often, for the right words to say, for the Spirit's leading of those listeners, and that I would neither add to nor take away from what is said in the Bible.  This particular Saturday I didn't really want to get in front of anyone and talk.  I would rather run and hide somewhere to sort through what is going on in my head, but in cases like this all the Lord asks is that I show up and follow.  What happened as a result was masterfully described by the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

We prayed before I started teaching and asked that the Lord would speak the way He wanted to speak.  I acknowledged the opposition I was sensing to the message for that night and we laid it at the feet of Jesus and asked the Holy Spirit to speak to people individually.  The Spirit apparently did speak to some of the listeners that evening.  I probably had a bigger reaction to that lesson than any of the previous ones.  Many people indicated something that they got from it.  Was this me?  No.  I brag for what the Lord said to them.  I just had to show up and stay out of the way.

Unfortunately my troubles were not over that day as I continued to experience a level of frustration and despair over the next few days.  Of course this was because we were doing the Family Tree Dinner on Tuesday night, where we feed anyone who will show up from the apartment complex.  Again I was weak and again we prayed as community pastors prior to the event, asking the Lord to take the burdens we had carried in with us and simply work through us as He saw fit.  When I looked up after an hour had passed (it seemed like about 10 minutes), I found myself in the midst of witnessing to a resident who described himself as "spiritual," a man who seems to be seeking a God that he has never met.  We talked about Jesus and what He did, and the man left excited about what he had heard and seemed to desire to start going to our church.  I don't know any other way to explain what happened than to say that the Holy Spirit showed up and reached out to that man.  I am so honored to have been a part of that.  Again, my job was simply to lay my burdens down and follow.  What an amazing testament on the Spirit's power in my weakness.

What did I learn this week?  God showed me the full force of the apparently paradoxical statement that "when I am weak, then I am strong."  The world says I should build my resume to highlight strengths.  In yet another example of God's kingdom being opposite of the world, I now see that my resume should highlight weakness.  Yes, among my extensive list of weaknesses and flaws, here is the fertile ground for the Lord to be most powerful.  Instead of looking at what I bring to the table, I should look for what I don't bring.  When and where I am weak, there I am strong.

A field of strawberries in Arlington, which is a short drive north of Everett.  We picked fresh strawberrries over the weekend and had more than we could handle!  This was a visible reminder of the fact that the spiritual harvest is ripe in our area, but the workers are few.

The Supernatural in the Mundane

This is Lake 22, a small lake nestled between several mountains near Everett.  We hiked to it as a family on a Sunday afternoon.

I am very excited to say that things continue to happen here in Everett that are being driven by the Lord.  My recent prayers have been that my eyes would be opened so that I would see the Lord working and would join Him, and that has happened.  I have prayed that leaders would join us on this journey and come to do the work, and hearts are being stirred to action without me doing anything.  I have prayed that the Lord would show me what He wants to do here in Everett, and He is!

We had the EFC Family Picnic recently and it was a great success!  Each family was challenged to bring a friend or 3, and many of them did that. We showed up to Hauge Homestead Park in Everett and shared food, games, and fellowshipped together for about 3 hours.  There was no lesson during this week as it was all about spending time together as families.  While that may seem odd or even wrong to some of you if you have grown up in church culture, it is an important step in what we are doing in this ministry.  In the business world, education world, and the church world, we talk about the value of relationships and that everything is based upon those.  Yet we then turn around and make an effort to fill the person's head with a constant stream of information about the Bible and God.  While knowledge isn't bad in and of itself, it is bad if it is the only thing the person has.  Think about your own faith.  You can read books about faith, study it, have Bible studies and discussions about it, but unless you are put into situations where it has to grow or be tested, you don't have faith at all.  Relationships are the same way.  Here, relationships open doors to further talks about Jesus and deepening discipleship with others, and that is why we are here.

We continue our preparations as a church for the mission trip this summer from Humble Area's First Baptist Church in the Houston area.  We met as community pastors last week and have continued to pray about the event and work on the agenda for the week.  As a group we really can't get over the fact that another group of people would want to come in and help us out!  When Jesus said that the "harvest is ripe but the workers are few," he was talking about this place.  Leaders are in short supply, and when others want to come and help us out we feel a giant burden lifted from our shoulders, even if it is for a short time.  Our excitement at the Lord's movement as we plan has only grown with each passing day.

A waterfall along the Boulder River near Oso.

As part of my work each week, I have been planning and organizing all of the details of this event.  Currently I have been ordering materials and gathering supplies for the carnival that we will put on for the community on the Friday of that week.  This will be a culminating event to our vacation Bible school called Kid's Club, and at this event we will invite the families of all of the kids to come enjoy an evening of fun and free food.  One of the items I have had to track down for this event is a portable soundsystem so we can play music while the families play and eat together.  I will come back to this in a minute because the Lord did something amazing in that seemingly small thing that just floored me.

Way back in February I posted about my first sermon which was preached at Oso Community Church in Oso, Washington.  This was the site of the terrible mudslide back in March, and if you have seen many pictures of the slide area you probably have seen that church!  During my time there I met a man named Ray who substituted that day for the music minister.  It was quite snowy that weekend and the regular music minister couldn't make it in due to icy roads.  So Ray led the music that day and I preached on John 6. 

Ray and I have stayed in touch since then and the Lord has continued to stir his heart into more action.  We have been working to keep his adult grandson on the road to Jesus, and I'm hoping to begin a more in-depth discipling work with him.  There's a lot to that story, but I won't share it here out of respect for those involved.

I was talking on the phone with Ray about an issue in his grandson's life this week when Ray told me that he felt the Lord was calling him to "get off of the pew" and get involved.  He proclaimed that he's open to anything and is even open to coming to work with us at EFC in any capacity that we need! One point of that talk will stand out with me for a long time.  Here's a brief recap of that portion of our conversation.

Ray:  "So I have this sound system just collecting dust.  I don't have any use for it."
Me:  "What??"
Ray:  Yeah, it's just sitting in storage.  It isn't being used.
Me:  Tell me more about this sound system Ray!
Ray:  Well, it can probably be used for a crowd of 600 or more.

Me:  Are you kidding me Ray?  I was just looking for a sound system this morning!

We both started laughing and agreed that God was definitely in our midst, even with this simple conversation that had nothing to do with our upcoming event.  This was the sound of a need being met on the spot.  I hadn't even planned on mentioning a sound system to Ray.  Why would I do that?

Things like that seemingly small circumstance stand as reminders that the Lord is totally in this thing.  This wasn't a coincidence, and it wasn't random.  This was God's plan, and to me it felt like Jesus walking up and giving me a hug. 

When was the last time you experienced his "still, small voice" in your life?  Did you overlook it?  Did you brush it off as random chance?  Did you downplay it, thinking that God wouldn't involve Himself in something so insignificant, especially in your life.  If any of these describe you, it is possible you have a wrong perception of the Father.  He is very interested in you.  He thinks about you often, and he even knew you before you were born.  The same God who created every beautiful thing you see around you also desires a real relationship with you.  Many of us (myself included, at one time) think of him as a genie that we bring desires to.  Others see him as angry and distant, only intervening when we do something wrong so he can thump us on the head.  Many times your views of God are tainted by your experiences with your own father.  All of these views of God are incorrect.  This God loves you, even if you don't love Him back.  I have found that He sometimes works through some fairly insignificant detail of your life, and I think at times He does it just to show you that He is still there, involved, and full of care for us.

Open our eyes, Lord, that we might see you in our everyday lives...and join your work!